I'm Not Ready

I'm really not that ready..
but I have to, right?
even though every time we talk, I always said "I'm tougher now"
but I'm not prepared for any of this.
I always wish I were there.
not because I haven't see snow
or because I don't know how USA looks like
but more because you're there.
knowing this. read the sentence that you just wrote.
I broken. into pieces.
I am not ready. but I have to. so I will.
I just.. love you.

Science Secrets

okay, readers. you know this scene comes from The Sorcerer's Apprentice movie.

I own this movie like months. but, I just watched it today.

aaaaand. this scene is the sexiest scene on earth.

damn.

I don't know how they do that. it's just awesome.

for all of you who got the 2nd song of this scene, yeah, it's One Republic - Secrets.

I can't believe I have this song on my computer but never put it on my playlist.

you should check this out. :)

love you, readers. :)

23 Random Things

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here:

..hanya beberapa kota jauhnya dari Domus Jefferson. Selepasnya dari..

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there?

a hanger

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Royal Wedding

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

01:14

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

01:05

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

the fan

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

3 hours ago. take some water.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

another survey

9. What are you wearing?

glasses, Bali T-shirt, short jeans

10. Did you dream last night?

nope

11. When did you last laugh?

45 minutes ago

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

photos of me. my mom. me, my sist and clare. my beloved daddy. mirror. wall heart stickers.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

nope.

14. What is the last film you saw?

SAW VII

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

a hospital.

16. Tell me something about you that I don’t know

I got cylinder 0.5 in my left eye

17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

I have no idea.

18. Do you like to dance?

yes

19. What do you think of the president?

I don't give a damn with politics.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Kirana Fissheal.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Pao Katon

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?

yes

23. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?

may I see my dad?

Death

I think about death these days.
this is scary because I'm not ready to dead. I mean, I still have like million sins.
every night, this thought about die when I'm sleeping just fill up my head.
you know what? I don't want to die in my sleep.

1. no one will find out if I die. I'm a room type. I can stay whole day in my room without going anywhere. I don't care. there's nobody looking for me though. so if I die when I'm sleeping, it means, my body will stiffen first and then after days, people will smell something stink and there you go; my dead body.
2. I sleep naked. okay. that sounds stupid. but for real, I sleep naked.
3. I'm heavy. 170 pounds and alive. I can't imagine how much is my weight when I die.
4. I'm out of town. die in your own hometown is way better.
5. I'm not married yet.

that's it.

20 Things I Love About cfho83

I just remember that I want to post this such a long time ago. lol. no. jk. I want to post this since I finish read The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright. one of Jack's letter to Laurel contains 20 things he loved about his wife. so, here I am writing 20 things I love about my man.

1. his big grin. if that grin can talk, the only thing it can say is: "fiss, I know you want to do that. don't give me that shit". I love it.
2. the way he sounds when he called me "mama" or "homie".
3. his serious face when he played his game.
4. the way he explains something. that "right?" word behind every sentence.
5. when I don't get it, I love it when he puts that 'ah-I-need-to-explain-it-again' face. :D
6. his laugh. it's just.... amazing.
7. when he talked about his family.
8. the way he looks at me and the shake his head. which is means: "fiss, you talking shit". :D
9. when he said romantic things. even though it's just "I love you".
10. how he loves ironman (and hates aquaman).
11. his jokes.
12. when he get on this site and chat to me with that pingbox like he's a stranger. unfortunately, most of times, he fails. :P
13. when he worked out. that's hot.
14. he went to church.
15. his "aaaaaaaaaaaahhh" word when he just get an explanation. and his "booyah" word when he wants to share something cool.
16. how he loved m&ms chocolate and girl scout cookies. :D
17. his face when I said "yes, I eat human".
18. his voice. that is my mood booster. just by listening to his voice, I gain all of my mood back. WHOA.
19. cocoa butter.
20. HIM. :)

this list isn't ascending by "the most thing I love" I love all of them with an equal portion. :)
you should try to list everything you love about someone, readers. it helps you because when you mad at them and read why you love them, you won't be mad anymore. :)

Stronger

hotter than flames from the sun
when the temperatures rising
deeper than any ocean
like an avalanche sliding
is anything stronger than..
you'll never find it
..when a woman loves her man?
'cause there ain't nothing like it

she'll give up all that she's got
to hold on to what she loves
whether it's right or it's not
even though she don't fit that glove
she'll do everything she can
nothing could ever be too much
when a woman loves her man

she'll do whatever
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
what makes her hold on to it
and continue latching on to it
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
why she has to pursue it
won't stop before she cries fluid
for love

nothing in this world's too hard
when you've been through it all
nowhere is ever too far
for me to catch you when you fall
you'll never understand
what I've gone through with so far
how this woman loves her man

she'll give up all that she's got
when it comes to what she loves
whether it's right or it's not
oh even though she don't fit that glove
she'll do everything she can
nothing could ever be too much
when a woman loves her man

she'll do whatever
to hold on longer (longer)
it makes her stronger (stronger)
what makes her hold on to it (to it)
and continue latching on to it(to it)
to hold on longer (longer)
it makes her stronger (stronger)
why she has to pursue it (pursue it)
won't stop before she cries fluid (fluid..)
for love

ain't no limit to the things I´d do
my heart's been broke torn apart for you
you ask do I care?
just know I'd do it again
ain't no limit to the things I´d do
my heart's been broke torn apart for you
you ask do I care?
just know I'd do it again

oh oh oh
'cause that's why I love you
oh oh oh
and I'm gonna be with you forever
oh oh oh
'cause that's how much I need you
oh oh oh
'cause you´ll do whatever

to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
what makes her hold on to it
and continue latching on to it
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
why she has to pursue it?
won't stop before she cries fluid
for love

hotter than flames from the sun
(stronger)
deeper than any ocean
(she's stronger)
is anyone stronger than..
(stronger)
..when a woman loves her man?
(stronger)