Happy Birthday To Me!

So, happy 20th birthday for myself.
it's kinda weird saying happy birthday for yourself but I don't care.

so at this moment, I want to thank God for everything. :)

I kinda miss my dad. and C4. he supposed to sing for me now.
he promised me that.

thank you for all of you, readers.
thank you for keep reading this crap.

I love you.

I Don't Care

it's such a dangerous sentence when it comes from me. and when I'm mad.
I don't think it's only me.
but when everyone gets mad and start saying "I Don't Care" you better watch out.

so since I have no one to talk to, no one to trust, and no one to depend on, I have to stand on my own feet.
but when it comes to my family, who should be the most trustable people in the world, I will give up everything.
I don't mind to lost my self-esteem when it's all about them.
I feel so stupid. moments ago, I (almost) believed that I have a lot of people to trust.
now I believe that the only thing I can trust is my site.
fuck people. nobody has a feeling.

Happy Anniversary and Goodbye

Happy 1st Anniversary.
this supposed to be the longest relationship I've ever had.
but 8 days ago, you broke up with me.
I tried to communicate, but you were not responding.
so I guess this is the real goodbye.
I am not asking you to stay anymore.
because after all that we've been through, you still want to let me down.
thank you for the good year.
those laughs, moments, movies, songs, tears, worries, surprises, plans, and everything.
you probably the only man I (will) never meet but I will give my whole life to.
sorry for not being there when you're sick, sad, mad, or need me.
I am wishing you and your family the greatest life on earth.
find someone close. find a woman who can take a good care of you and the kids.
find someone who can make you happy. find someone better than me.
be a great daddy. don't die before you see your grandchildren.
a lot of people love you very much.
one of them is me.
thank you for everything, buttercup.
Happy Anniversary and goodbye.

I Am Tired

so I mean, I'm not at my room right now. I mean, I am depressed. I haven't pay my school and I will take a semester off because of that. another thing, I lost my job. my mom doesn't like my man, probably. I need to stop all this bullshit. I need to escape. I am tired.

Things I Will Teach My Children

so, I keep thinking about this topic lately. I can't imagine my children grow up and become exactly like me. so Imma teach them what I know about life.

1. God Is Everything
whatever you do, remember 1 thing: HE knew it before you did it.

2. Be Patient
you have to be real patient, but I know we're not God. I understand if you sometimes can't handle your temper. I'm not that patient too, baby.

3. Respect Daddy & Mommy
this is important. there's no excuse to not respect mom and dad. if they made mistakes, it's their fault. you don't need to judge them.

4. School, Home & Church
if my kids want to go somewhere it's their right. but I will make sure that they will be at home before 10, school in the morning, and church on Sunday.

5. Thank You
ALWAYS say "Thank You" when someone did something for you or to you. say thank you even when you're mad.

6. Do Not Keep Secret
anything happen to you in life, tell mom and dad. it's your fault or not, tell us. it's about your friends or your crush, tell us. if that thing will make us mad, no matter how mad we are at you, we will forgive you.

7. Watch Your Mouth
anything you say, will affect people around you. watch out. it's either you'll lose a friend or gain an enemy.

8. Apologize
whenever you make mistake, apologize. mom and dad promise you we will do the same thing. :)

9. When You Grow Up, Love Regardless
because that makes you can handle every problem you guys had.

10. Live Like You're Gonna Die Tomorrow, Work Like You're Gonna Die In 100 Years.
you know what I mean. do something good every day. if you make mistake, ask God to forgive you. and work hard.

I imagine if 20 years from now my son/daughter will read this and they'll say: that's exactly what mom told us to do!
:')

The Lincoln Lawyer

so, I just finished watch this movie. it's awesome.
I mean like: superb story line, great actors, and cool soundtracks. ;)
I download the torrent on demonoid by KickAssTorrents. he has the high quality one.

first song that played on this movie is so ear catching. I thought it was Cee Lo Green's. but I am wrong after I look for it.
now, here's the soundtrack list.
I put the download link on the first track and the last track because they are the greatest two. :)
I wish you can find the other because I am looking for them too.
I never heard ANY OF THIS before. but trust me, they're good.

01. Ain’t No Love In The Heart Of The City - Bobby ‘Blue’ Bland
02. Lincoln Lawyer - Marcus “Seige” White feat. Big Hollis
03. Music - Erick Sermon feat. Marvin Gaye
04. Don’t Sweat The Technique - Erik B. & Rakim
05. Nightcall - Kavinsky & Lovefoxxx
06. Bobblehead Girl - Danny Chaimson & The 11th Hour
07. Now - Ari Hest
08. 107 Degrees - Citizen Cope
09. The Wilderness - Colin Smith
10. Hot Lazy Porch Swing - Cinema Guitar Works
11. Suspect - Setty & The Miracle
12. I Remember - deadmau5 & Kaskade
13. Moment Of Truth - Gang Starr
14. California Soul (Lincoln Lawyer Remix) - Marlena Shaw feat. Ya Boy

enjoy!

Manado - paradise on earth

these pictures were taken when I was in my hometown for holiday. 

I'm using Sony Ericsson Elm and Canon Digicam. 

this is my hometown. and I'm proud of it. 

ps: you don't need DSLR to take good pictures. ;) enjoy! 

RIP, Ibienu Shiekha Naseh..

30th of August 2011
I can't believe I am about to post this right now.
I'm already prepared a lot of things to post on this blog later but now I got thing to tell you.

today. 12:34pm. a text came up on my phone screen.
+628583xxxxx
Fiss, innalilahi wainna ilaihi rajiun..
Telah meninggal dunia kawan qt yg qt sayangi..

Ibnu Shieka

Selamat jalan sobat, thanks for coloring our life :(
Nanda

I am shocked.
until the time when I type this, I still can't believe that Ibienu Shieka Naseh is gone.

he is another great friend God sent to me.
if you ever read a post that I posted on valentine this year, you'll see pictures of us. me, nanda, and ibienu.

first time we talked is on twitter.
I saw Nanda and Ibi tweeted to each other.
but they were talking about our university, so I joined the conversation. :')

from that day on, we are following each other (on twitter).
he is a funny guy.
like, real funny.

first time we met was when he wanted to find a girl who studying at the same university with me and nanda (me and nanda are students of Gunadarma and Ibi is a student of Bina Sarana Informatika).
so he arranged a 'meeting' with me. he came with his friend. he was late at first and I am so mad because of that.
but it doesn't matter, we were keep going on our plan.
:')

I didn't tell him about my past.
but he sure knows all the boys problem about me.
he knows about the Mr. 7 Years. he knows about Yoga. he knows about my man now.

sometimes I asked him for advice.
and sometimes, I followed his advice. ;)

I remember when I had a fight with my friend just because a picture.
I told him about it, and his respon was like 'eew, forget him. we're hanging out and taking thousands of pictures and I won't be mad.'
that will never happen. but I thank him for that. :')

I just never thought that 14th of February of 2011 will be the first and last meet of the 3 of us. :'(

I love Ibi. he's like a brother for me.

thanks Ibi, for everything. for those advice and those laughs.
RIP Ibienu Shieka Naseh.
my pray will always be with you.

#hugandkiss

I had a dream about you again, hitam.
This time, nothing bad happens.
Even, I can say it's beautiful..

You and me were neighbors on my dream.
But I never see you around.

One day, my place burned to the ground.
But the presents I'm about to give you are in a good condition.

I have no idea what was that means.
But I woke up with this happy feeling because I did hold you close in my arms.

I love you, hitam.
Don't make me worry about you.

fuck yeah, I'm a liar

yeah, you're right. I lie to you. I am a big fat liar.
you want to know things that I lied about?
1. I am happy.
2. I'm excited to get back home.
3. I need no one.
4. I'm friendly.
5. I'm awesome.
6. I'm smart.
7. I wanted to watch Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2.
8. I love my stepfather.
9. I hate kids.
10. I like staying up late.
11. I love talking to strangers.
12. I am not scared to death.
13. I like hanging out.
14. I'm cute.
15. My mom loves me.
16. My family proud of me.
17. I love spending holidays with my mom and sister in my hometown.
18. HOME is the most comfortable place on earth.
19. I never wanted to leave this country.
20. I'm not racist.
21. I'm in a good health.
22. I'm fine.
23. Leave me if you want because I don't care.
24. You're just someone who makes me laugh. I just need your joke.
25. I don't remember anything about you.
26. I never really cared when my man is sick.
27. No, he doesn't make me cry.
28. I'm tough as rocky mountain.
29. I put a big evil laughing on my face when I type this.
30. I am proud of myself.
31. I always love fuck up.
32. I love loving life.
33. I love schools.
34. I can kill somebody when I am really mad.
35. I like perfumes.
36. I believe in true love.
37. I've got used to be cursed.
38. I hate writings.
39. I never get jealous.
40. I don't care what my man did or whom he's with.

and you know what are my biggest lies, man?

I don't love you. I never loved you or cared about you. I hate it when I had to woke up every 4 hours. I am happy when you're not here. I was not really cry when I saw you sick. it's okay with me if you blocked me from your accounts. I'm not mad when you're not replying my e-mails.

now you happy? YOU HAPPY?
because I AM. I AM REALLY HAPPY FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT LIAR.

Don't Feel Like Going Home

it's august and my holiday will end in about... a month, 2 weeks and 1 day.
my mom knows I have nothing to do here, so she told me that I better going back home.
I am excited about learn how to drive, but what if I can drive in a week? I will have 3 boring weeks.

honestly readers, I don't like my house now. it's different. my mom has changed a lot of stuff in that house. it's not that comfortable anymore.

but I don't know. I think I'll still going back. on this 15.
and will be back here (if I will) on September 15th.

I mean, I still have 10 days here.

dear, you..

I had a dream last night.
you were dead.
stabbed by someone in the train.
I woke up and cried because I can't deal with it.
but I'm glad. because some people said if you dream about someone's death, they'll have long life.

there's a lot of memories about you and me.
a lot.
on my vessel, in my real life, on internet.
those movies, those songs, those laughs.
those crazy moments.

I know it wouldn't be that easy to erase you from my life.
probably, it will never happen.

I never thought that e-mail would be my last fuck up.
I wish I wouldn't do that.
but it's too late, isn't it?

sometimes I laugh. not at you. not at us. at myself for being so fucking stupid.
but I know it's over.

remember when you told me your life is a fucking pain?
no it's not.
you have the greatest life I've known. fuck the pain when you have a lot of people that love you so much.

at this moment, I want to apologize.
for not making you happy when you were with me.
for always being a crybaby.
for not doing the right things.
for tripping all day long when we were together.
because I wasn't there most of the time when you needed someone to talk to.
for not understanding your condition and being so selfish.

and I want to thank you.
for make me laugh when I almost forgot how to.
for the great nicknames
for the funny cursing. really. I never mad at you because of that.
for those nights you spent with me.
for anything you give to vessel; the rainmeter, foxtab, teamview. anything.
for the love no one can ever give to me.

I think that's it.
don't change.
don't tell me to stop loving you because I can't.
I love you, hitam. I will always do.
I won't say "bye" to you. so, later.

If I Were A Boy..

..I will be in the bar at 3 o'clock without worrying about my mom is going to call me or not.
I will put a little run when I'm walking without thinking about people looking at my boobs.
I will not scared going out in the middle of the night.
I will be real awesome because I can play the guitar.
I won't be a crybaby.
Hair fall will not be a problem because I can be bald.
I don't have to face period.
I will responsible with any decision I made.
No one will call me bitch.
I won't hurt that bad.
I will consider to have a smart girlfriend instead of the sexy one.
I will tell the person I like about my feelings without worrying if I'm a girl or a boy.
I won't hurt her feelings.
I will have sex only with my wife.

but really, if I were a boy..
I will fight against my mom for what she has done to me those years.
I will be a GREAT temperamental man.
I probably will kill my step father.
I will never go to church.
I'll yell at my girl.
I'll become a criminal.

and..
I won't be here right now talking to y'all.
I won't have those best friends.
I won't have a great wonderful man like him :)
I won't have this patience I have now.
I won't ever know how to control myself.
I can't wear pink or purple because people will think I'm gay.

so..
thank God I'm not a boy. thank God I was born as a girl.
thank God I still have boobs.
thank God I have period. I don't even care if I become real sensitive that time.
and thank God my name is Fissheal and I have this life. surrounded by great people, great friends, awesome man, and wonderful family.
:)

Gone

This is my favorite song for now.

Reminds me of you. lmao. yes, YOU, retard. :*

Can you imagine

What it would be like

If we never met?

We never kissed

Can you imagine

If we never got

To spend those nights

In each other's arms?

But I don't know how it feels
But it probably would kill me
Probably would tear me down

So I don't think about it
Cause my heart can't take it if you were gone
If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone

Can you picture yourself
Getting older, dear, with someone else?
I can't cause I feel like we
Are the exception to the rule

I know this love is true

And I don't know how it feels

But it probably would kill me

Probably would tear me down

So I, I don't think about it

Cuz my heart can't take it if you were gone

If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone

Don't rewind anything

I'm too excited to see what tomorrow brings

You changed my world around

And I am not scared to go falling down in love

But if you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were gone, If you were gone

If you were, If you were, (Said, I can't imagine) If you were gone
(I can't imagine)

If you were, If you were, If you were gone

If you were gone

Google Plus, The Newest Rival of Facebook

first of all, if you have google plus, add me: Fissheal Manuel.
if you don't have one, leave your gmail on the comment of this post, and I'll send you an invite. ps: I won't publish your e-mail.

so I haven't found the usable of this G+, but, rumors said that this G+ will beat Facebook as soon as possible.
so, like other social media, G+ also have features like photos uploading, statuses posting, chatting and many others.

the difference between G+ and Facebook is G+ needs invitation so you can register. actually, you don't have to do any register if you already have a gmail account.
until today, google not restrict the sent invitations yet. but I'm pretty sure that they'll limit them when the number of users increases.

when I typing this post, I just click the "download and install voice and video chat" for G+. IDK if it's gonna work or not because I didn't read "Vista" on the system requirements.
oops, I can't use it. bad for Vista users.

another features on the chat? hmmm. call conference, sending files through the chat window, you can pop out the chat screen, you can make the video full-screen and many others.

what I like about this G+ is it's light enough to load. my friend once told me that he can't open both twitter and facebook but G+ was easily load.

so, it's your choice, readers. some said they stuck with faceboook, some said twitter is better and a lot of people moving to G+.
me? I have all of them.
I wish G+ will have some games too.

enough for now. I have to go. adios, readers.
love ya. :*

Happy Sunday!

I was at my mom's place last night and I typed on her new keyboard.
actually, I typed random thing. about life.

God didn't promised you that your life is going to be easy. He just said that He will be with you as long as you rely on Him.
today is Sunday. before I make this post I was thinking about not going to church. but then, I changed my mind.

if you're about to cancelling your plan to going to church today, I suggest you not to doing it.
you need to think about things God gives you until now.

I am not trying to be religious person.
I mean, all my life I've been bad. people know that. I won't type religious thing just to make people think that I'm a change man.
man, people who know me very well won't judge me that way. if you dare to judge me, then, you know NOTHING about me and what I've been through.

when I was a kid, church is just an obligation for me. I sat, I listened, I went back home. nothing changed my life.
it's not God doesn't change anything. it's me don't want to be changed.
lately, I'm trying to be better for Him even sometimes, I still run out of patience easily. at least, I'm trying. ;)

well, like I said, today is Sunday. I won't force you to go to church because people do whatever they want. nothing can stop them. moreover, this is just a post.

now I need to go to church. :)
Happy Sunday to all of you, readers.
have a wonderful day.
love you. :)

ps: if you go to church, pray for me and my life. :*

midnight post

hi readeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrss. :*
how are you?

I was reading Faster Than A Kiss right before I make this post.

actually, I have no idea about what is this post all about.
I mean, the only reason why I make this post is because I am waiting for someone but he's not here yet.

whoa. IDK what else I can tell you.
so maybe I'll just go to sleep.

I mean, I just want you all to know that I'm still alive. :p
see you later, readers. I love you. :*

T-R-Y

today is great. first, I just finished the bible project aaaand, I'm done with exams.
but I still have a lot of things that stressing me out. well, at least I feel a lil bit relieved.

what's on my mind -and I want to talk about this- is the word: try.
until today, I've done things in my life. some things done because I have a capability to finish it and others because I tried to do those things.

try and fail, but don't fail to try- Stephen Kaggwa

what you just read is one of the trying-quotes I've ever heard. I don't remember exactly what is the first quote that I heard but I am pretty sure about how I react. I was like: "whoever invented this quote, must be so hopeless. maybe he just wanted himself to be more enthusiast about living his life".

sometimes, I quit trying. not because I'm too weak but because I know my limit. I mean, you can't push yourself when you know that you can't. for example, I tried so hard to be smarter in Biology and Chemistry. but most of them are about remembering things and at the same time I am a forgetful person. that's why I can't be so smart at those subjects. and that's why I hate both of them.

another simple example is when you are about to pick which university that suits you. if you can pass the test, then it's fine. but if you can't, don't force yourself. even if you can get into that uni, doesn't mean you can go through every subject. :)

this post is dedicated to all of you who are going to face another admission test. try your best, know your limit. :)
I love you, readers. :*

mom's month

it's july now and I'm getting nervous because the deadline to do the scientific writing is soooooo close. what makes me nervous is not the deadline but because I didn't do anything yet.

just skip that one. I don't want to talk about it

the other things that's gonna happen in July is mom's birthday. this year, my mom will be 44 y.o.
my mom is one of the independent women I ever know. because she grows in a big family with small income.
my mom is the eldest one, so she has to taking care of her brothers and sisters -she has 2 brothers and 2 sisters- every single day.
when she was in high school, she moved to the capital city of North Sulawesi.
my momma's english is not that good. it's not even good at all. but in the other side, she's smart as hell if you talk to her about medicine and stuffs. yeah, my mom is a nurse.

thank God she is a nurse because she's not gonna feel disgusted when she's taking care of her babies. :)
and maybe that's why my daddy picked her.
they have silly relationship when they were young. I mean, in the early year, it's not usually happened. :D

now my mom is a single parent because her husband is a fucking jerk. how come a husband not provides ANYTHING -I repeat, ANYTHING- to his wife? that's stupid and irresponsible. I am sorry for telling this to the world mom, but I am sick of his behavior.

I promise to myself, I won't find a guy who gives me everything when we were just "in a relationship" and stop doing it when we married.

that's it for now. I need to going back to work. good luck in everything you do readers. esp in your love life. seriously.
see you later.
love ya!

PS: if you see this bryan -my step brother from my mom's husband-, I am sorry for saying that your dad is a jerk, but I do mean it. don't worry, I still love you. ;)

new hair-cut!

okay this is like the most unimportant post. lmao.
but I just cut my hair.
IDK if you're gonna like it or not.

I do this spontaneously when I was looking for new wallet (I lost my wallet in the bus on friday night), but can't find the unique one. so, I decided to cut this hair.
I think it's not bad. :)

those are the newest pictures of me.
how do I look?
do I look better in long hair? or short one?

PS: for the pingbox visitor named "baba", thanks. :)

love ya readers!

3 Days to Birthmark

Yeahhhh (Yeahhh)

Ohh (Ohh)

Yeahhh (Yeahhh)

Ohh (Ohh)

Yeaahh

I made the mark on Feburary 1st

Between me and you, you can call it birth

The beginning of our universe

remind me of Alicia Keys first

I'm falling for you

I wish I had an opportunity to not do

What I did to hurt you

And now I'm here livin' with regrets

I know that it was my fault

I know that I got caught

So please dont loose your thoughts

Me lovin' you and you lovin' me

I'm on the highway swurvin'

I ain't drunk but I'm about to hit the curb

Lookin' at the calendar gettin' nervous Just a few more days till the first

Chorus:

So this the day it all began

One place that it came together

More than a ring or a tattoo

It's your birthmark that reminds me of you

So let's get on a airplane

Go back to where we began

To that point which is days apart

That's stamped right next to your heart

To your heart

To your heart

To your heart (To your heart) (X3)

(Your heart) (X3)

Get the calendar, go to August 3rd

First words today, we had our first words

First arguement got to let it go

Cuz it could possibly affect what our future holds

Flipping pages now I'm famous

Thinking back I ain't seen you in ages

Wishin' that I could have made it less painless

Brings me back, right back to the same mess

I know that it was my fault

I know that I got caught

So please dont loose your thoughts

Me lovin' you and you lovin' me

I'm on the highway swurvin'

I ain't drunk but I'm about to hit the curb

Lookin' at the calendar gettin' nervous

Just a few more days till the first

Chorus:

So this the day it all began

One place that it came together

More than a ring or a tattoo

It's your birthmark that reminds me of you

So let's get on a airplane

Go back to where we began

To that point which is days apart

That's stamped right next to your heart

To your heart

To your heart

To your heart (To your heart) (X3)

(Your heart) (X3)

January, Febuary, March, April, May

June, July, August is just another day

September, October, November tryin' to find a way

And December the month my calendar defeat again

If only we could go

To that place where me and you know

There's no fake, front, cheat or even lyin'

The time has come where we stand face to face

Chorus:

This the day it all began

One place that it came together

More than a ring or a tattoo

It's your birthmark that reminds me of you

So let's get on a airplane

Go back to where we began

To that point which is days apart

That's stamped right next to your heart

To your heart (X3)

That's stamped right right next to your heart

To your heart

To your heart

To your heart (To your heart)(X3)

That's stamped right next to your heart

realize

I just get my job back. IDK if my boss will let me work for a long time. but this is more than enough.
thank God.

I remember when everything seems to be wonderful last year. on November, I got a man. on December, I have a job.
it's just great.

now, when my man don't want me (I actually can't say "my man" anymore) to be his woman, I am complaining. I know it's my fault. but everyone deserves a second chance.
"some people fight for love, and I believe it's true 'cause I do the same for you". that's what Elliot Yamin said in one of his song called Fight For Love.
but I can't fight for someone if he doesn't want to be fight for. I send him e-mails. try to stop once, but I can't until I get some reply. he deleted me from his Messenger, blocked me from his twitter account, and successfully make me feel like a "SPAM". or maybe, I'm a SPAM.

but I won't complain anymore because I know I will lose everything I have one day. I just think I'm not well-prepared to accept that now.
I never regret loving him. and his past. and his weakness. I can say I still love him. I never regret everything I've done for him. I never regret wake up every four hours or doing the pen thing on my hand.
I never mad at him at any moment. even when he decides to leave, I'm not mad. it's my fault because yes, I am fucked up in the head. all I can do is apologizing and wait for his response even though I think, it won't come out.

I miss him. I miss everything about him. but I realize that he has family that's at the top of his list. I probably at number 345932 on that list. but I don't care. this is fair. now he makes me cry badly when once upon a time, he made me laugh insanely.

later, readers.
I love you.

hi, readers

I always said "I've been in worse condition." but I think I am in the worst condition right now.
I feel bad. it's my fault. I disrespect people I love. I miss my second chance I think. I can't stop fucking crying right now.
this is so hard. this is harder than anything before.
I feel like a crap.
really really need someone to talk to about right now.
love you, readers.

Come Back Song

woke up again this morning

And wouldn't you know it... pouring rain

I went and burned a pot of coffee

And like that I poured it down the drain

'Cause I didn't know I needed you so

And letting you go was wrong

And baby I know you got your radio on

So this is my my bad, come back song

I know I said I wouldn't miss you

But now I'm saying I'm a fool

You're on the feel good side of leaving

And I'm the backside of a mule

'Cause I didn't know I needed you so

And letting you go was wrong

And baby I know you got your radio on

So this is my so sad come back song

And now I'm laying down without you

In this king size empty bed

And I wish I had my arms around you

Now I'll just dream of you instead

'Cause I didn't know I needed you so

And letting you go was wrong

And baby I know you got your radio on

So this is my get back, come back

Hey, I didn't know I needed you so

And letting you go and letting you go was wrong

And baby I know you got your radio on

So this is my my bad, come back song

Oh yeah yeah

I know I said I wouldn't miss you

I said I wouldn't miss you girl, yeah

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

We all sang na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na

Na na na na na na na, yeah

Come on now

This is my my bad, come back song

The Limitless Losers

I watch 3 movies in a row. I mean, I watch The-A-Team yesterday, Limitless this afternoon, and just got off with The Losers.

so, between these 3 movies, I love The-A-Team the most. then The Losers and Limitless.

IMO, Limitless is a little bit confusing. doesn't mean I don't like the movie. it's just not what I'm expected to. I expect more action, more great conversation, MORE. but that's what I get.

Limitless is kinda like a book I ever read "Flowers For Algernon". someone who was nothing become real precious. the different is, in this movie, Eddie (Bradley Cooper) got anything he wants. in the end, he make this medicines in his lab. but in that book, Charlie dies in the end of the story.

soooo, Limitless is not that good. I give 3-Star rate to this movie.

~

The Losers. I like this. :)
Clay, Cougar, Pooch, Roque, and Jensen. 5 men that supposed to be killed by a man named Max in Bolivia. but unfortunately, they're not in the helicopter. so, Max kills wrong people.

they plan to take revenge, but Roque betray them all. they have Aisha too. Aisha is a daughter of a man named Fadhil who killed by Clay. just watch the movie and you'll know.

Pooch is real funny. I'm laughing so hard at this man. lmao. =))=))

The Losers got 4-Star rate from me.

~

so that's all. I mean, I really like action movie right now. and so far, I like The-A-Team the most. so, you better watch it. :)
love you, readers. :)

Things About Me

I was thinking about making this post when I just wake up around 1 hour ago. lmao. so there you go.

• my real name is Fissheal Manuel. Fiss = Fisika (Physics in English) and Heal = Healing. my dad is a lecture of Physics and my mom is a nurse. why double "S"? because they don't want my name to be write like "FISH". :)
• dog is my favorite animal.
• I love talking to myself in the middle of the night.
• I love pretending to be a dancer.
• I'm allergic to dust but I can't clean the dust because I have asthma.
• I really don't like ORANGE. I mean, the color. not the fruit.
• I don't like most of vegetables.
• I'm a lazy person.
• when I'm still on my mom's belly, there's someone get in the house. he brings knife and threaten my mom.
• I have cylinder 0,5 on my left eye.
• I am MEAN as hell.
• my first date when I was 12 y.o
• my first kiss happens around 3 years ago.
• I'm a black-man-oriented.
• my favorite musician is Akon.
• my favorite sports are Chess and Basketball.
• I have no favorite color. but I think I like gray.
• I have 3 twitter accounts, 3 blogger accounts, and 3 facebook accounts.
• I have lesbian friend but I have no gay friend.
• I'm a little bit racist.
• I was a smoker.
• I like taking baked picture of me.
• I love musics and movies.
• when I was on junior high school, I like pretending to be a ranger. I mean, power ranger. lmao.
• I watch English movie with English subtitle. and they need to be hear impaired.
• I love reading.
• my favorite author is John Grisham.
• my favorite actor is Nicolas Cage.
• my favorite movie is The-A-Team.
• my favorite Nicolas Cage's movie is Face Off.
• I play like 50 games on facebook.
• I have 8 e-mails I think. or more.
• I don't like it when people ask me about something unimportant.
• my friends know my secrets more than my mom.
• I prefer write my problems than speak it out.
• I am rude.
• I say something offensive.
• my lotion is honey something. -_-"
• I have stretch-marks on my shoulder, butt, belly, and thigh.
• brown skin, 150 lbs, 5.34 ft.
• I use glasses since 2004 if I'm not mistaken.
• I don't like freak make-up. I like the simple one, though.
• my hair has been straightened for 3 times. now I love it curly.
• my mood is really unstable.
• I love seafood.
• right now, I am thinking about what am I supposed to type next.

I think that's all. I'll add some more if I think you need to know more. lmao.
later, folks. love ya!

there's no plan B

it's just a short quote on The-A-Team Movie.
I watch this movie 2 days in a row. the first version is in Russia, and the second one is (finally) in English. damn man.
Bradley Cooper is hot. not hotter than my man though.
watch the trailer down there.



so, this movie was released a year ago. my man already told me about this movie but I can't find it anywhere and just found it now.
The-A-Team (The Alpha Team) is including Liam Neeson (Hannibal), Bradley Cooper (Face), Quinton Jackson (B.A), and Sharlto Copley (Murdock).
it's totally funny and awesome. I mean, it's just cool.

I don't like Jessica Biel's here. I mean, she doesn't fit the character. I prefer Cameron Diaz or Mila Kunis. or maybe Keira Knightley. those women way better I think. no offense to all of you who loves her.

if you see the poster of this movie, it says "There's No Plan B". I like how these men think about making plan. things not always happen as what you plan but plan is still a plan. keep doing it. lol.
this is awesome.

aaaaand, I finally now where my man get his "A-ha, Okay, Whassup, Shut Up!" thing. lol. it's the soundtrack.

last thing from me this time: WATCH THIS AWESOME MOVIE!!!
Alpha, Mike, Foxtrot. no, I'm joking. ;)
love ya!

BOOYAH

damn man. I don't really want to update this blog because I am sick. but I can't do the other 2 things that my man told me to do. so here I am.

I was looking at my old pictures and find a link to that image on one of my photos.
lmao.
this is Tarsius. oooorrr, in English, it's Tarsier.

Tarsiers are haplorrhine primates of the genus Tarsius, a genus in the family Tarsiidae, which is itself the lone extant... okay fuck it. read it on wikipedia. lmao. sorry readers. but I really don't feel like typing a lot. I just want to make you sure that I am... STILL ALIVE.

I will talk about something 'smarter' later. but not now. pray for me and this fever. I am (still) afraid of death. love ya!

I'm Not Ready

I'm really not that ready..
but I have to, right?
even though every time we talk, I always said "I'm tougher now"
but I'm not prepared for any of this.
I always wish I were there.
not because I haven't see snow
or because I don't know how USA looks like
but more because you're there.
knowing this. read the sentence that you just wrote.
I broken. into pieces.
I am not ready. but I have to. so I will.
I just.. love you.

Science Secrets

okay, readers. you know this scene comes from The Sorcerer's Apprentice movie.

I own this movie like months. but, I just watched it today.

aaaaand. this scene is the sexiest scene on earth.

damn.

I don't know how they do that. it's just awesome.

for all of you who got the 2nd song of this scene, yeah, it's One Republic - Secrets.

I can't believe I have this song on my computer but never put it on my playlist.

you should check this out. :)

love you, readers. :)

23 Random Things

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here:

..hanya beberapa kota jauhnya dari Domus Jefferson. Selepasnya dari..

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there?

a hanger

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Royal Wedding

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

01:14

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

01:05

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

the fan

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

3 hours ago. take some water.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

another survey

9. What are you wearing?

glasses, Bali T-shirt, short jeans

10. Did you dream last night?

nope

11. When did you last laugh?

45 minutes ago

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

photos of me. my mom. me, my sist and clare. my beloved daddy. mirror. wall heart stickers.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

nope.

14. What is the last film you saw?

SAW VII

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

a hospital.

16. Tell me something about you that I don’t know

I got cylinder 0.5 in my left eye

17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

I have no idea.

18. Do you like to dance?

yes

19. What do you think of the president?

I don't give a damn with politics.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Kirana Fissheal.

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Pao Katon

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?

yes

23. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?

may I see my dad?

Death

I think about death these days.
this is scary because I'm not ready to dead. I mean, I still have like million sins.
every night, this thought about die when I'm sleeping just fill up my head.
you know what? I don't want to die in my sleep.

1. no one will find out if I die. I'm a room type. I can stay whole day in my room without going anywhere. I don't care. there's nobody looking for me though. so if I die when I'm sleeping, it means, my body will stiffen first and then after days, people will smell something stink and there you go; my dead body.
2. I sleep naked. okay. that sounds stupid. but for real, I sleep naked.
3. I'm heavy. 170 pounds and alive. I can't imagine how much is my weight when I die.
4. I'm out of town. die in your own hometown is way better.
5. I'm not married yet.

that's it.

20 Things I Love About cfho83

I just remember that I want to post this such a long time ago. lol. no. jk. I want to post this since I finish read The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright. one of Jack's letter to Laurel contains 20 things he loved about his wife. so, here I am writing 20 things I love about my man.

1. his big grin. if that grin can talk, the only thing it can say is: "fiss, I know you want to do that. don't give me that shit". I love it.
2. the way he sounds when he called me "mama" or "homie".
3. his serious face when he played his game.
4. the way he explains something. that "right?" word behind every sentence.
5. when I don't get it, I love it when he puts that 'ah-I-need-to-explain-it-again' face. :D
6. his laugh. it's just.... amazing.
7. when he talked about his family.
8. the way he looks at me and the shake his head. which is means: "fiss, you talking shit". :D
9. when he said romantic things. even though it's just "I love you".
10. how he loves ironman (and hates aquaman).
11. his jokes.
12. when he get on this site and chat to me with that pingbox like he's a stranger. unfortunately, most of times, he fails. :P
13. when he worked out. that's hot.
14. he went to church.
15. his "aaaaaaaaaaaahhh" word when he just get an explanation. and his "booyah" word when he wants to share something cool.
16. how he loved m&ms chocolate and girl scout cookies. :D
17. his face when I said "yes, I eat human".
18. his voice. that is my mood booster. just by listening to his voice, I gain all of my mood back. WHOA.
19. cocoa butter.
20. HIM. :)

this list isn't ascending by "the most thing I love" I love all of them with an equal portion. :)
you should try to list everything you love about someone, readers. it helps you because when you mad at them and read why you love them, you won't be mad anymore. :)

Stronger

hotter than flames from the sun
when the temperatures rising
deeper than any ocean
like an avalanche sliding
is anything stronger than..
you'll never find it
..when a woman loves her man?
'cause there ain't nothing like it

she'll give up all that she's got
to hold on to what she loves
whether it's right or it's not
even though she don't fit that glove
she'll do everything she can
nothing could ever be too much
when a woman loves her man

she'll do whatever
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
what makes her hold on to it
and continue latching on to it
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
why she has to pursue it
won't stop before she cries fluid
for love

nothing in this world's too hard
when you've been through it all
nowhere is ever too far
for me to catch you when you fall
you'll never understand
what I've gone through with so far
how this woman loves her man

she'll give up all that she's got
when it comes to what she loves
whether it's right or it's not
oh even though she don't fit that glove
she'll do everything she can
nothing could ever be too much
when a woman loves her man

she'll do whatever
to hold on longer (longer)
it makes her stronger (stronger)
what makes her hold on to it (to it)
and continue latching on to it(to it)
to hold on longer (longer)
it makes her stronger (stronger)
why she has to pursue it (pursue it)
won't stop before she cries fluid (fluid..)
for love

ain't no limit to the things I´d do
my heart's been broke torn apart for you
you ask do I care?
just know I'd do it again
ain't no limit to the things I´d do
my heart's been broke torn apart for you
you ask do I care?
just know I'd do it again

oh oh oh
'cause that's why I love you
oh oh oh
and I'm gonna be with you forever
oh oh oh
'cause that's how much I need you
oh oh oh
'cause you´ll do whatever

to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
what makes her hold on to it
and continue latching on to it
to hold on longer
it makes her stronger
why she has to pursue it?
won't stop before she cries fluid
for love

hotter than flames from the sun
(stronger)
deeper than any ocean
(she's stronger)
is anyone stronger than..
(stronger)
..when a woman loves her man?
(stronger)

paper toy(s)

okay. I'm in love with this shit. don't ask me why because I don't know. :D

so, let me show you these!

:)

princess aurora

rapunzel in tangled. :)

mulan. :D

jasmine in aladdin. :)

cinderella. :)

aurora, rapunzel, jasmine, ariel, mulan, belle, cinderella. :)
these are gifts for my best friend apriana. from me and zeresy :)

tron :)

 

sam's motorcycle from tron legacy 3D. :)

mine is glowing.

well, not actually. I just take it at the right time. ;)

I put this beside my vessel. ^_^

next project probably: Wall-E. I don't know yet. this is just fun. :)

Long Distance Relationship

well, you know I'm in a (very) Long Distance Relationship (LDR) now.
it's not the first time though because most of my relationship are LDR.

and they never work out because I never trust a man except my dad before, whereas "trust" is the most important thing in LDR.
because you guys won't see each other for a long time and you guys won't know what your partner do if they don't tell you.
for real, there are always 4 possibilities in LDR:
1. your partner tell the truth and you trust them
2. your partner tell the truth and you think it's a lie
3. your partner lies and you believe it
4. your partner lies and you know it
but for you who put all your trust on your trust on your partner then number 1 and number 3 are the only 2 possibilities. if he/she lies to you, then it's their problem. you don't have to worry because they just throw up something precious. :)

okay. second important thing is you yourself, better don't lie.
if you want them to not lie to you, then do the same. even though it's something bad, tell them the truth. they probably will be mad, but believe me, it won't last. =]

at this time I believe that I'm doing what they call "sharing".

next, don't be jealous.
I am a jealous person. I don't like my man being touched by another woman. but to tolerate that, I make my jealously as a joke. sometimes, I tell my man, I'll kill any woman who touches him. I don't know if I'll do it or not though. :p
ah, and you can be jealous if they allow you to be. =]

stay away from fight is important. LDR reduces this possibility to seeing each other and clear your problem. if your partner don't want to talk to you, they can just turn off their phone and live their life as usual.

keep informing each other. you know communication is also important. don't think you'll be bored if you talk everyday. the fact is, talk to each other everyday builds more internal connection between you two. :D

SAY "I LOVE YOU" every time! I mean, EVERY SINGLE TIME you can.
you're mad, you're tired, you're sad, you're happy, every time!
I've got used to say "I love you" every time I'm done talk with my man. I'm not gonna let this anger or bad feelings stop me from saying "I love you" and mean it.
:)

5:38
damn. I've been up since 1:53. and I think I should sleep now.
I love you readers. :)
later.

April Fools Google's Way

this shit is really fool me
thank you for my awesome handsome bonbon man for telling me this
you guys better don't believe it. yes it looks real, but that is Google's April Fools.
:D

Laporan Akhir UML | State Diagram & Collaboration Diagram

Gambar 1, State Diagram

 

Gambar 2, Collaboration Diagram

Laporan Pendahuluan UML | State Diagram & Collaboration Diagram

NPM GANJIL:

1. Jelaskan tentang STATE diagram dan berikan contoh kasus!

JAWABAN:
1. State diagram digunakan untuk menggambarkan perilaku sistem. State diagram menggambarkan segala kemungkinan peristiwa yang bisa terjadi.

NPM GENAP:
1. Jelaskan tentang COLLABORATION diagram dan berikan contoh kasus!

JAWABAN:
1. Collaboration diagram (biasa juga disebut interaction diagram) menggambarkan suatu interaksi antara objek perangkat lunak. Interaction diagram menggambarkan pesan-pesan yang dikirim antara kelas dan objek.

Uncharted

this video is awesome.. :)

you can see Josh Groban, Vanessa Carlton, Adam Levine, Pharell Williams and other artists. Sara Bareilles did it again!

thanks for made my day, Sara. :)

enjoy the lyrics! happy singing! :)

No words, My tears won't make any room for more,
And it don't hurt, like anything I've ever felt before, this is
No broken heart,
No familiar scars,
This territory goes uncharted...

Just me, in a room sunk down in a house in a town, and I
Don't breathe, no I never meant to let it get away from me
Now, too much to hold, everybody has to get their hands on gold,
And I want uncharted.
Stuck under the ceiling I made, I can't help but feeling...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

La la la-a-a-a.
Oh-h-h.

Each day, countin' up the minutes, till I get alone, 'cause I can't stay
In the middle of it all, it's nobody's fault, but I'm
So lonely, Never knew how much I didn't know,
Oh, everything is uncharted.
I know I'm getting nowhere, when I only sit and stare like...

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, of foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted.

Jump start my kaleidoscope heart,
Love to watch the colors fade,
They may not make sense,
But they sure as hell made me.

I won't go as a passenger, no
Waiting for the road to be laid
Though I may be going down,
I'm taking flame over burning out

Compare, where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere

I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
Oh-h
I'm going down,
Follow if you want, I won't just hang around,
Like you'll show me where to go,
I'm already out, foolproof idea, so don't ask me how
To get started, it's all uncharted...

Kitty Massage

this one is real funny!

Laporan Akhir UML | Fungsi Tool Sequence dan Activity Diagram

1. Jelaskan kegunaan tools pada Sequence dan Activity diagram!
2. Buatlah contoh kasus SEQUENCE DIAGRAM untuk NPM GANJIL dan ACTIVITY DIAGRAM untuk NPM GENAP. ps: kasus tidak boleh sama!

Jawaban:
1. SEQUENCE DIAGRAM TOOLS and FUNCTION:

• nomor 1 adalah Selection Tool. digunakan untuk menyeleksi atribut dalam work area.
• nomor 2 adalah Note Tool. digunakan untuk menambahkan note ke dalam diagram.
• nomor 3 adalah Anchor Tool. digunakan untuk menghubungkan note dengan komponen UML lainnya.
• nomor 4 adalah Label Tool. digunakan untuk memasukkan teks.
• nomor 5 adalah Box Tool. digunakan untuk membuat bentuk kotak.
• nomor 6 adalah New Class Tool. digunakan untuk membuat kelas baru.
• nomor 7 digunakan untuk membuat fungsi turn around pada diagram.
• nomor 8 digunakan untuk menghubungkan antara kelas pertama dan kedua. fungsi yang sama bisa dilakukan oleh nomor 7.

ACTIVITY DIAGRAM TOOLS AND FUNCTION:

• beberapa tool di atas, udah dijelasin di sequence diagram. jadi, ngga usah dijelasin lagi.
• nomor 1 digunakan untuk menandakan mulainya suatu activity diagram.
• nomor 2 digunakan untuk membuat activity baru.
• nomor 3 digunakan untuk menandakan akhir dari diagram activity.
• nomor 4 digunakan untuk menandakan pengambilan keputusan. biasanya disertai dengan keterangan keputusan apa jika diagram mengarah ke kiri, dan keputusan apa jika diagram mengarah ke kanan.
• nomor 5 digunakan untuk split dan join. pada saat diagram akan membagi 2, bar ini akan ditambahkan. dan sebelum diagram digabung menjadi satu, bar ditambahkan sebagai join.
• nomor 6 digunakan untuk membuat tanah panah yang akan menghubungkan komponen yang 1 dengan yang lainnya.

2. Contoh kasusnya, silakan di googling sendiri. :)

selamat mengerjakan! :)

Laporan Pendahuluan UML | Komponen Diagram & Class Diagram

1. Jelaskan tentang komponen diagram dan class diagram!
2. Buatlah contoh kasus menggunakan komponen diagram.
3. Buatlah contoh kasus menggunakan class diagram.

Jawaban:
1. Diagram komponen adalah diagram yang digunakan untuk menggambarkan organisasi dan ketergantungan komponen-komponen software sistem. Sedangkan class diagram adalah diagram yang menunjukkan class-class yang ada dari sebuah sistem dan hubungannya secara logika.

2.

3.

klik gambar untuk memperbesar. :) selamat mengerjakan! :)

firefox 4 beta

hey, readers. I just finished download this shit.
it's kinda cool, readers. you should try this. well, it looks like google chrome I think.
you see the orange button at the top-left of the screen?
that's the menu when you decide not to show the menu bar.
I don't like showing a lot of bar on mozilla. so I only have navigation bar.
I think mozilla make a great movement this time.
and at the top of it, you can give your feedback. see the "Feedback" button at the top-right? yes. you just have to click it. :)
and oh. the tabs in the window, well it isn't a part of mozilla. my man gave it to me a long time ago. so, do not think you have broken mozilla if you don't see that thumbnails on your screen.
click if you want it. :)

link source: mozilla firefox