mad, sorry, forgive

let's talk about that 3 words up there.
I think this gonna be a short post but who cares? this is my site. I write what I want to write.

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I keep make people get mad at me. I don't know why. it's like being bad is already a part of me and my life.
I just wondering, do they even think about me? I mean, if I know what I say or what I do will make them mad as hell at me, will I do that? WILL I?
they never think about that. once I make them mad, blah. I am not the kind of person who has a super ego. no I am not. if I know I am wrong, I'll apologize.
if I made mistake to a 5-year-old kid, I will apologize. because I know I am wrong.

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now the next problem is, some people are too arrogant to forgive me.
I don't think they want to know that with doing that, they HURTING me.
oh yeah. real hurt. guys, you don't know how hard it is to lower or maybe throw away your self-esteem just to say "I AM SORRY".
you don't know how hurting it is, to keep saying "I AM SORRY" and the one who you apologizing to is not even listening.
I am pretty sure that the one ho can forgive easily, is the one who knows how hard the things are.

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sometimes I think, it's just me the one who so stupid for apologizing to someone who won't forgive me.
they say "forgiven or not, the main thing is you already apologize"
for me, that's a shit. what are you fighting for then? man, it is your responsibility if someone won't forgive you until the rest of their life.
and, I don't want that happen to me.

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10:34 pm
that's all.
love you readers.