Saturday, May 2, 2009

When I Was Happy

This is a story of my life. There are so many things happen in my life. Good and bad, laugh and cry, happiness and sadness, everything. But nothing’s worst except my mom. I don’t know what kind of thing that make me really mad, sad, and feel so bad. I just know that my feeling is getting bigger, bigger and… boom! Someday it will explode like dynamite.
When my father was here, he never makes me feel like what I feel now. He ever mad and even he ever felt like he wanted to kill me. But he never did that. He forgives me. Not once or twice, but so many times. That’s why I feel so sad when my mom is not forgives me.
She mad at me again today because I forgot to bring an umbrella. Is that a big problem? I don’t think so. She said I’m not study hard, she said I’m not loves her, she said I always make her life getting harder. I don’t know why she told that entire fucking thing. I want to ask you something: How do you feel when YOUR MOM said that?
One day, when I was a child, I ever dreamed to have a happy family. We will live in a happy house and live happily ever after. But I recognize that’s all just a dream when I grow up. I want to speak out everything that creates in my mind but I can’t. Maybe I’m a looser. Maybe I have no brave. But I’m sure that someday I can’t hold this feeling anymore and like I said before: IT WILL EXPLODE!

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