Friday, December 24, 2010

last day

no, readers. I am not about to die. lol.
I will go home tomorrow
so I have to stay to a closer place to airport.

~

before I go, I want to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to y'all readers. *see? I speak nigga naw.
have a wonderful Christmas this year.
and I'm gonna miss you so much.

~

I got some gifts from my best friends ana & zesy.
thank you guys. I'll open it exactly on Christmas and on my birthday. :')

~

I will miss this town though. I live here for half a year. so, this is my home now.
:')
I miss my man already. save the world, honey. tell jarvis I am gonna miss him too. :')

~

10:55
readers, I have to go.
I'll post some stuff if I have time and internet connection at my hometown.
I love you.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas preparation

it's 4 days left until Christmas!
I'm excited because it means I will be home in 4 days. my family are waiting for me and my sister. my brother said they're making cakes and cookies for me and my sister.
lol. it's gonna be a big Christmas though.

~

well, one thing I regret is my mom won't be there on my birthday. she has a job which will take her to Surabaya. another town in Indonesia.
she'll stay for 5 days. and honestly, I don't like it.
she said she'll be there at new year's eve.
it's okay, I just sad because I have to pass another birthday without my mom.
and my man.

~

I just bought 2 dresses and a pair of shoes. I'm gonna wear them on Sunday, Dec 26th and Saturday, Jan 1st. :)
thanks to my bestfriends: anna and zesy for helping me find the right dress. :D
aaaaaaaaaaaand, my size is M. lol. I know it depends on the material of the dress, because the first one I bought is sized XL. :)) but I am still glad. :D
I'm gonna post ton of pics here. :x :x

~

how's your Christmas preparation, readers? is everything cool? I hope they do. :D
I really don't wanna separate with internet right now.
after half and a year, all my stories are in this blog. they're all on the internet.
I think I don't know how to interact with human anymore.
:D
and I'm gonna miss my man. I don't know if he'll miss me or not, but who cares? I'll miss him still and I miss him already.
I hope his Christmas will going great too.
^_^

~

08:22
I have a job (again). my boss contact me this morning and ask me to do something before I go home.
what's wrong with help a person though? she'll pay me though, so I said yes.
naaawww, here I am, sitting here, posting something on the blog before I do that job.

hey readers, may I ask you to do me a favor? please chat me on my yahoo messenger pingbox on the right and tell me any movie you pick for this Christmas. :)
and readers, I am gonna miss you too.
I don't know most of you. and I don't have any idea where you live or stuff like that.
but if you celebrating Christmas, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas this year.

love you.

Monday, December 20, 2010

homecoming stuff

kaboom! :))
freak. well, that's me. I know it sounds weird replacing my "hi" with "kaboom". but you'll getting bored if you keep reading "h" and "i" at the beginning of every post.
:p

~

beside, this "kaboom" shows my happy-feeling now.
well, first, my boy is back. >:D<
I still got my punishment, buuuuuuuut I think it's fair.
beside, I got a lot of homework from him. 3 movies to watch and one of them is corny. sial.
I don't feel like watching it, but he keeps saying: "you won't understand the second one if you don't watch the first"
honestly, readers, my eye can't tolerate corny graphics. so psssshhh.. maybe I'll just hear it and not see it. *kidding babe. :p

~

2nd, I'll be home. at Christmas.
25th of December at 01 pm. :)
I am happy and sad.
I am happy because I will see my family whom I don't see for the last half an year.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnddddd
I am sad because I won't see anybody here for around 2 weeks. plus, I won't see my baby though.
but it's alright. home is always the most comfortable and the safest place on earth.
oh, I have a little problem here. I don't have any suitcase! damn. how can I go without a suitcase?
well, I have tons of home-clothes there.. but I lost 40 pounds, so, I guarantee you my jeans won't fit me anymore.
still thinking about it.

~

I am thinking about giving a Christmas present for my mom. but I have no idea what should I give to her. I don't wanna ask. it won't be a surprise anymore.
I'll ask my baby later. he's good at gift. :p
I wanna give my sister and my step father too, buuuuut, it costs so much. I don't have that much money.
I know I am working, but I have payment and need too. sigh.

~

02.41
I want to sleep but I am not sleepy. soooo, maybe I'll gaming. :D
mafia wars, farmville, lucky train, gourmet ranch, millionaire city, damn! I have 30 games I used to play. but I think the number has reduced to 10 or less.
so, before I quit, I want to say thanks to everyone who concerns to me. who keeps cheering me every time.
and big thanks to God for not taking him away from me.
and thanks to him for giving me another chance. I love you babe. but I still love your jarvis more. *kidding
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH readers and friends. and love You, God. You're rock!
^_^

Saturday, December 18, 2010

don't think I don't think about it

it's 3:20 am and I can't sleep at all.
yeah I used to be like this. but this one is different. I am afraid of nightmare. very bad nightmare.
I can't even close my eyes even just for a while.

~

what are you use readers? tell me what makes you can sleep earlier. I try every possible way to not be a vampire anymore. but it didn't work.
I read books, listen to a music, do stuff like that but I can't be normal.
well, I'm scared by this heart problem. now I got another headache problem.
phew. but I just can't change my time area.

~

beside that, I keep thinking about my problem. it getting worse because I have no midterms anymore so I can't turn my attention of off him.
I want to pretend like nothing happen between us. but then, it will makes him think that I don't even have regret.
I want to say "I am sorry" every single time. but in the end, he will think that I'm doing too much.
I don't have any idea what am I supposed to do now. if I didn't say something to him, will I look like a retarded?
or maybe all he needs is space?
blank.

~

I don't want to give up on him. I keep thinking like, "oh fie, you don't deserve anyone." or "maybe he's right by treating me like this" or "why am I so stupid? I should have believe him".
but it won't change everything. he was right. I took our happiness for granted. now I don't know what am I supposed to do.
guilty? HELL YEAH. he trust me and I don't trust him? at that moment I don't trust him? what the hell is wrong with me?
sometimes I wish he'll make a surprise by talk to me in pingbox again and pretend like he don't know me. and blah blah blah.
but it's impossible now. my site, this site, is probably the last site that he'll visit.
gosh I miss him.

~

am I supposed to let him go? he doesn't like me anymore. I think he hates me right now.
people say "hope make you strong", now when I was hope he'll be my last, yes, it makes me stronger. now, when I hope he'll give me another chance, I lost my strength.
I don't even know how to fix this.
I asked my bestfriend, best of the best friend, and she says
"that what makes your relationship grow, fie. face it. don't just give up. fix it. try every way you can. in the end, if he won't give you a chance, he's not yours. and he will never be. you do change, fie. he just doesn't know you as long as me. keep trying. you can do it"
she knows me for about 3 years. she is the one who knows every little secret of me. she knows my family, my life, how mess is my room, and so much else. and when she said that sentence, I know she was right. I have to try, but if he's not mine, he never meant to be.

~

yep. I should give him a space. I'll manage my homecoming I think. is 10 days enough for him? or is it takes months? years (again)?
no one knows.

~

3:47
well, I'm listening to JLo ft. Fat Joe - Hold You Down right now.
this song is great in case I am in the lowest right now.
readers, it's time to bed. :D
I won't let myself talking shit anymore.
so, have a nice sleep everywhere you are, guys.
have a nice dream (now I really mean it when I say this)
aaaaaaaaaaaanddddd.... I love you.

Friday, December 17, 2010

free! :D

finally! midterms finish today. :)
I get back my life again. hoho.
hey readers, good day.
how's life?

~

I just finished my midterms today. well, it's not too bad. I think I can do that one.
I'm not free yet, actually. still have 2 days work. wish me luck.

~

my sister will come tonight. so, I won't spend so much time in front of vessel.
:P
vessel is the new name of my computer. why vessel? first, it sounds like my name. and second, vessel is a detector in my favorite game. :)
vessel vessel vessel.. :)

~

well, this time, I want to say thanks for visitor of my pingbox. which finally reach 100th visitors today. the last one ID-ed K5. :)
sorry, for not replying your chat K5, I was sleep. :D
99th visitors is Richard. thank you sir. sometimes talk to someone I don't know is not bad.

~

thank you for all of you who is reading this right now.
well, another crap, huh?
:p
I still try to fix my relationship. but now, I don't think I can make it. :)
it's okay readers. maybe I will never deserve someone from this planet.

~

12:12
well, I wanna watch some movies.
as always, love you readers. :)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I don't want to write. I need to write.

hi readers. I know you're confused of reading the title of this post. but yeah. I think, write is no longer a want. it's a need. I need write more than I need food.
so, here I am, try to write something in case I don't want you, readers, to do the same mistake that I did.

~

well, I'm fighting. with him. you already know who is he. so I don't need to explain.
it's my mistake actually. I accused him with nonsense bullshit about there's someone in his house.
he's mad at me. and probably, he hates me now.
my december wish never came true.

~

I tried to apologize about 5 times, but I don't think I will get 2nd chance readers.
I love this man. I really do. and I regret everything I said. but it won't be enough for him, I think.
honestly, I am no good at making a mail for him. I already made 3 mails and send them, but it seems not work. I've planned to send him another one (could be the last one), but not now. maybe later when he's ready to talk with me. unless, he will never want to talk anymore.

~

look, readers, I think I don't have to make it clean that nobody's perfect. so do I.
everyone has their own weakness, and mine is temper. don't think I don't think about my weakness. I lost so many things just because my temper. don't think I never try to change it, readers. I do. I still do it until now. sometimes when I feel like I will be mad, I just go by myself and don't want to talk to someone. that's one thing I do to manage this temper.
sometimes, I just hold my temper. shut my fucking mouth off, so then I won't hurt anybody which is 99% after that will hurt myself though.
or the last try, I just cry.
yeah, cry.
I hate tears. I don't like tears because they'll never run out. you know what I mean? how long you cry, how hard you cry, your tears will always be there. and I don't like it.

~

I am not that kind of sissy girl. I am not that tough though. people always said: "fie, you never look sad." or "your life is so perfect" or "you never look stressed out".
they just wrong. they just didn't know what I faced and what I'm facing.
but look, I want to tell you how strong smile power is.
when you smile, it means you transfer some of your own happiness to people. when you frown, you took away their happiness. that's the fact. that's why I try not to frown. even though sometimes I have big problems I need to face alone.

~

readers, you just see that I fall in the same hole. I don't want to compare him and mr. 7 years. they're different. and this one is so perfect.
hey, when you're not ready to let the people you love go, don't do something that can make them mad at you.
right now, I would like to pretend that I am fine, readers. I am fine. but for what? for run away from the truth that I'm still a woman with a heart? for confess that I still can't fall in love? no readers. I am tired of pretend.
I love this man, but I can't tell him how much I love him. that's why I tell you.

~

early in the afternoon, I prayed. I prayed because I have a bad feeling about my heart. real heart I mean.
I said:
"God, if it has to end like this, just calm me down. I can't cry like days anymore, God. You know how long I've been hurt. and I know that You will never let that happen to me again. You are the one who can hear me even though I'm not saying something. even though I'm not writing some post.
I don't blame You for let me be with the wrong person for now. I blame myself for falling so fast. I'm not supposed to fall in love, I know.
God, if he's not the last, then make him the one before the last. don't make me fall for wrong person again. I am not that strong, God. I know You know it.
amen."
I got relief for a couple hours. and when I am awake, I feel bad again, readers. like crap. or worse.

~

this post is not dedicated to him. it's about him but dedicated to you readers. so then you can learn something from my life. my story. I didn't want you to make mistake, readers. hell no.
if you love someone, fight for them. the fact is, I still will fight for this. he worth it.
if I'm not win, in the end, at least I try. I just don't want to give up on this one. he's perfect. I told you that. I don't care if he's crazy, if he's ever be with another woman. I don't care readers. I love this man. if I give up on him, maybe it will take another years to make me fall in love again.
I can't

~

09:41
well, I have to work. I accept a work from a friend for 3 days.
that's the only way to turn my attention off of him for a while.
I love you, too, readers.

ps: someone ID-ed K5' try to chat with me a couple days ago. hey K5' if you read this, just back at pingbox again. thanks.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

★ thank you, readers! ★

long time no see readers. what? about one week? yeah. I am busy taking care of midterms.
any news? well I don't have too much news. lets start from the oldest news since my last post.

~

well, my boy is alright. he still alive and getting crazier.
at least, I am glad he crazy. because maybe, if he's normal, he won't like me. :))=))

~

this week is the easiest week. why? because there are only 2 subjects of midterms. and they're easy as hell.
I hope I didn't gave a cross at the wrong answer.
damn. I always in a hurry. :))=))

~

okay. enough talking shit. :p
according to the title of this post, I will say thank you so much for all of you.
all of you. whoever you are.
thanks for keep reading this crap even though sometimes I make mistakes with my english post.
I'll try to keep posting in english but I will need my Indonesian too when I post some task.

why thanks? this afternoon, I saw my blog's stats. and it's amazing. I got 12000 pageviews.
waow.
that's such a big number.
I will post the screenshoot below.

this is the overview.
all time is 12.000 and I hope it'll keep going up. because it proves something to me.
:)


this is the top 10 post views.
all of them is Indonesian post.
and most of them are my school work. :)
well, this also mean something to me.
at least, my posts aren't that meaningless. :)

well, this is the sites where you find this blog.
google have it.
:)


I know it!
Indonesia must be the place where most of my reader live.
:)
so it stills on the top rank.
10000
waow.
and what makes me glad, is I see that rockmelt browser is on the 4th rank of browser.
:)
well, I still have 2 invitation. if you want it. tell me.

~

readers, I know thousands, millions, or billions thank you won't enough to say my respects to you.
if I know your name, maybe I can post it here.
well thanks for visitor who leaves a spot on my pingbox.
who leaves a comment.
who reads this crap.
my classmate, my boyfriend, my facebook friends, my twitter follower, everyone.
thank you.

~

08:05
I have to go now.
again, thank you.
and as always, I love you all. :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010

N-E-R-V-O-U-S

yes I am so damn nervous right now.

my boy gonna face his injection because of his spinal disk herniation.
and he keeps tweeting me, telling me his nervous.
gosh, he has been through this before and he stills nervous.

I don't have any idea how hurts is that injection.
but he a tough guy. he never been like this before. :'(
that's why I am nervous. it must be really hurt.

~

readers, I won't sleep until I know he's fine. he's okay.
at least I already told him to let his brother tweet me anything happen.

I just read that article about spinal injection and I'm afraid of the effect.
I won't tell him 'cause it's gonna scared him.

~

God, please just let him share his pain with me.
amen.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

#decemberwish: don't take him away from me

hi readers. how are you?
it's december 1st now.
what do you wish for december?
I wish a lot of thing. things that could happen easily and maybe won't happen at all.
:)

~

well, okay, I'm in a relationship with mr. krazzy now.
I'm glad. just a little bit worry. I'm not worrying his kids, his old job, his color or some shit like that. I'm worrying myself. I still thinking how to tell my mom about him.
plusssss, he will come on march next year! :)
so, sooner or later I have to tell my mom. :)
well, I hope he'll be my last.
I don't want anyone else. he's the one who can make me laughing all the time and smiling all day even when he's not there.

~

oh, big warn! before you continue reading this post, I have to tell you that this post maybe will tell you about him.
I mean, don't get bored but that's what I have: HIM.

~

before I show him the picture of my hometown, he wants to go to Jakarta. and now? he crazy about the mountains. he wanna climb them and jump off of them.
he also wants to ride a dolphin. daaaaaaaaaaaamn. I keep looking for it.
ask everyone where I can find dolphin to ride in Indonesia.
until now, I'm not find it yet. so please, if you know where he can rides dolphin, tell me, please.
you know what he said? "if I can't ride the damn dolphin, then nobody can" and he starts to making plan about sabotage the seaworld, ride a dolphin, and kill it. in the end, he says I supposed to eat the dolphin.
hell no, I won't.

~

another plan? I have to find aquaman for him. and we're gonna kick his ass. LMAO. this is the craziest plan ever.
but I'll try. ;)

~

I'm soooooo in love with this guy.
it's funny huh? about what? a month ago, I'm still a stupid girl who falls in love with a man who thinks that I'm invisible.
and now, I am crazy about this one.
I don't care, readers. I love tyrell. :p

~

he laughs so hard when he saw my picture which contain me and my cousin. he says I was born with computer on my hand. =))
he laughs again when I told him that my beloved uncle afraid of safety pin.
but for real readers, my uncle, yes, real afraid of safety pin. if you say "peniti/paniti/paneti" which is means safety pin, he will throw up.
don't bring that safety pin in front of him, or he'll freakin' out.
lol
but I still love my uncle. he draws like crazy. he has that wonderful capability. :)

~

bored enough to read this?
:p
tomorrow I'm gonna face my mid test.
wish me luck, readers.
:)

~

I read this quote and I remember him, so I'll post it here:
"I love you with all my B.U.T.T. I would say my heart, but my B.U.T.T is bigger."
you know something? he like my ass. :))=))
no. for real, he do. :))=))
that makes me laugh every time I remember it.
no one like big phat ass.
he's the only one. he's nuts and crazy (at this time, he'll add: and awesome)
=)) <-- if you type this on my yahoo messenger on the right of this blog, you will see the "ROFL" emoticon. and you know what? he loves him. he called it "yellow man" he was like "I wanna play with my yellow man.", "that yellow man is my favorite", blah blah blah. =)) I love him!

~

last night he makes me cry. I was so worried about him because in our last conversation, he told me he has problem with breathing. I am so worried about him. I mention him on twitter like 30 times, I post on his facebook, I do e-mail him, I try to reach him everywhere. but finally he's there. :') ~ he down on his knee (because he's way taller than the camera position), and says: "hey fiss, look at me. are you looking at me right now? okay. I love you. I don't want you to worried about me. I want you to be happy when you're with me. and want you to keep smiling like that when you're with me.
if I don't text you on twitter for two days, then something wrong."

~

10:43
aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
and I love you so much, readers. :)
and thank God for meet me and him.
kissesandhugs

Saturday, November 27, 2010

sorry for act like a crap

hey readers. how are you on this saturday morning huh?
hope you're good. :)

I can't believe I want to cry now. damn, I never cried for months and now I just feel like will do that.
damn.
I'm not sleep yet so I pretty sure I have a panda's eyes right now and I don't want to cry. not now. :(

what do you do when you feel useless, readers?
something?

I have a training in about 90 minutes and I'm not taking a shower yet. I don't feel like I can make it.
maybe I should give up on this.

look readers, one thing you should understand is I'm not perfect. you see sometimes I post craps in here don't you?
I do that when I'm mad at something and I can't even talk.
I feel like if I'm happy everyone else will be happy. even though, I have to pretend sometimes.
in the last 6 months, my friends say I have a better temper now. and I don't want to mess it up.

ah. they don't know I'm still a human. I can cry, I have heart, I can be mad.
and yes, I already cried. damn it.

okay readers, I really have to go. not because I want to but because I HAVE TO.
wish me luck for my training. I have a feeling that it'll be bad but I'll try my best.

hahahaha.
I feel silly because I don't learn something yet! great.
:D

don't worry about me, readers. I'm fine. trust me, I always fine.
sorry if this temper of mine makes you hate me.
nobody wants to be hated. so do I.
so please, if you hate me now, forgive me.

well, have a great saturday everyone.

you know what is my last words don't you?
oh forgot?
let me tell you something: love you, readers. *bearhug* :)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

rockmelt - one of new cool browser. :)

do you know what time is it? yeah it's about 2:32 am. and I can't sleep. I don't even feel sleepy. SIAL. (this word is an Indonesian which is means "damn" and "shit" at the same time).

~

oh have I told you about this Rockmelt? it's a browser.
physically, it looks like Google Chrome. but not the system. you have to log in using your facebook account.



you can get this browser by the invitation from someone who also using this browser.
I have 3 invitation left and I want to give one free for you.
anyone who wants it, just tell me. :)

~

what's cool?
first I accept the invitation about this browser and I see the look is same as Google Chrome. I felt a lil bit disappointed.
but not know.
first time I thought I'll lost every bookmark that I already marked on my mozilla firefox, they're not gone. they're stay on that rockmelt.
it's cool because I can even play mafia wars with 2 accounts at the same time. ;)

~

the second cool thing is when we close our facebook tab on this browser, the chat will always be there.
it means, you don't have to open facebook even in a tab to keep in touch with your friends.
I love it.



~

not only facebook, I even have twitter inside!
I can update my twitter just by clicking the small icon on the right side and update my status on twitter.



another way?
you can click on your photos on the top-left when the browser in on standby mode
and choose twitter on the dropdown menu
and enjoy it!
:)

~



you have to see this chat window!
gosh it's cool.
it's really look like chat. :)
like a conversation.

~

how do you think readers?
:)
it's great isn't it?
:D

big thanks to mr. krazzy ball to give me an invitation to use this.
and remember!
I have one free invitation for anyone who wants it.
leave a comment or better chat me on yahoo which is on the right side of this blog.

~

03.10
I should sleep right now.
but I'll read a book before go to sleep. :)

and as always,
love you readers.
mwah. :)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

something on my mind

hey readers. I can't sleep. what the hell happen to me? why am I so sensitive like this?
I hate this.
I mean it.

look, I just had a fight *I don't know if that's a fight or no, but I think, it is* with this man.
why I'm fighting all the time?

I just asked him a question about kids. and he's frown. he said he's not frown but he is.
what's wrong with that question? he can ignored it if he hated it.
or told me that I supposed to not ask him about that.

now I can't sleep just because I think of it.
man, I feel so wrong. he has 3 kids, so what? I don't care.
he makes me laugh. he makes me smile.
damnit! I like him!

I don't know what to do readers.
I really don't

sorry for talkin' shit tonight.
I just can't sleep before I feel relieve.

I love you readers. see you soon. kisses and hugs.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I love your PC! :))=))

hell-o readers. :D
looking for the post titled "cfho83"?
well, he asked me to remove it. :p
he didn't ask me actually, he just said "you post too much" and I remove it myself. :)

so how was your day?
hope it's great because mine went well.
:)

I see my bestfriend today. you know him. kunyuk. yeah. kunyuk. :)) it's him. :)
he's skinner now. and that makes me so sad. he got sick for two weeks that's why he soooo thin.
we're goin to meet again on thursday because I have no class that day.

I was playing with mr. krazzy about... what..? 2 hours ago I think.it's kinda funny. we shuffle our playlist and to answer the question, we have to click the "next" button.
love it.

you wanna see his result?
here it is:
  1. if someone say "are you okay" you said...? this ain't what you want. lol.
  2. what would best describe your personality? ooooohhhh.
  3. how would you describe yourself? gettin it on.
  4. what do you like in a guy/girl? don't front.
  5. what is your life's purpose? hello.
  6. what is your motto? heatin up.
  7. what do your friends think of you? clap again (it's akon. A-K-O-N).
  8. what do your parents think of you? a-1 performance.
  9. what do you think about very often? take it off.
  10. what is 2+2? fan-mail.
  11. what do you think of your best friend? hustler.
  12. what do you think of the person you like? wanna be there.
  13. what is your life story? I'll make love to you.
  14. what do you wanna be when you grow up? booty man.
  15. what do you think when you see the person you like? rendezous.
  16. what will you do at your wedding? ballin of the white.
  17. what will they play at your funeral? hear me out.
  18. what is your hobby/interest? work that pole.
  19. what is your biggest fear? block boys.
  20. what is your biggest secret? oochie wally.
  21. what do you want right now? *this is un-answered*
  22. what do you think of your friends? freak show.
  23. what is the worst thing that could happen? let me show you.
  24. what is the one thing you regret? disturbia.
  25. what makes you laugh? new shoes.
  26. what makes you cry? magic.
  27. what scares you the most? good good.
  28. does anyone like you? #1 fan.
  29. if you could go back in time, what would you change? my country.
  30. what hurts right now? ether.
  31. what makes you fall in love with someone? destroy and rebuild.
that bigger-bold word is the funniest according to me.
I like his expression when I give him question and he presses next and he hates the PC.
that's why I love that PC.
lol.

3.06
I should go to sleep. have some job for tomorrow. bye readers
and as always, love you!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

webcam shows original


gara-gara si krazzy, gw jadi demen poto-poto lagi.
anyway, thanks for brings back my confidence, mr. krazzy.
xoxo

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I don't give a f-

night readers.
happy eid mubarak to everyone who's celebrating. :)

see the post below? yap that's the shortest post ever.
dan that'll be the last (hopefully).

gue pengen cerita. dan kayaknya gue perlu cerita..

Mr.7 years.
we had a fight. and I decide to leave. hahaha.. ngga readers. dia bukan siapa-siapa gue.. cuma yah, gitu lah..
gue ngerasa sangat mengganggu hidup dia.
beside, gue capek. he keeps blocking me, removing me, and do stuffs every time we had a problem.
what's wrong with be honest if I may ask?

this afternoon, we had a chat. and I'm sooooooooooooo mad. :|
I don't know why. I even can't believe I just already say "I don't give a fuck" to him.
I didn't mean to be so rude. but it seems like every little feelings inside of me is mixed up. I'm angry, I'm sad, in the other side, I love (sorry for saying) him.

but I have to decide, right? I can't drown in his shadow forever. I have to wake up. find a new life. find a new love.
so, I take a decision to get over him. get over my feelings. get over us.
it'll be hard in the first months. but I have, I need, and I believe that I can do this.

on our last conversation, he said that he'll never read this blog again, or read my tweets on twitter. facebook? he's block me already. YM? I believe he's also already put me on his ignore list.
so what am I worry about?
:)
he's supporting me by doing all that things.. :D

I have a feeling that he still want to say something. I don't have any idea about what will he says but I won't wonder. I'm open minded enough. say anything you want to say about me, readers.
I won't be mad. :)

10.15
I don't hate it when he acts that way. I mean, looking for me just to say he's not mad.
but I hate it because he do that when I just decided to forget him. forever.
it makes me confused, readers. of course I don't want to hope. I'm tired of hoping. of waiting for something unsure.

"in my life I had regrets but I've moved on.." ~ Blue - Move On
"it's over now. the pain is gone.." ~ Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo
"I love you with the fire red, now it's turning blue.." ~ Timbaland ft. One Republic - Apologize
"I don't wanna be a fool, crying over you.." ~ So Sick (Female Version)
"there's no more tears, I cried them all for you, yeah, you.." ~ Jazmine Sullivan - 10 Seconds.
"even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to.." ~ Leona Lewis - Better In Time
"I'm moving on, I'm feeling strong inside" ~ Eric Benet - Sometimes I Cry
"sometimes goodbye's the only way" ~ Linkin Park - Shadow Of The Day
"If you only knew what the future holds after a hurricane comes a rainbow" ~ Katy Perry - Fireworks

readers, intinya, gue pengen bilang sama kalian:
jangan jadi kayak gue. buat para reader cowok, kalo emang kalian suka sama orang, tell her. lebih baik ditolak karena berani ngomong, daripada jadi pengecut cuma karena takut ditolak.
buat reader cewek, love is important. :) kalo kalian sayang sama orang, dan orang itu ngga pasti sama kalian, tinggalin. cari yang baru sebelum kalian jatuh terlalu dalam sama 1 orang itu.

and as always:
love you, readers.

Monday, November 15, 2010

done

I'm done with you.

what would you do if you know that today is the last day for the person you love?

that's such a funny title isn't it?

gue abis nonton filmnya Jennifer Love Hewitt yang judulnya If Only..
ini kali kedua gue nonton ni film. sebelumnya pernah juga. tapi entah di CD ato di TV..


apa yang bakal readers lakukan kalo readers jadi si Ian di film ini?

gue memposisikan banyak orang sebagai Samantha di film ini..
gimana kalo orang-orang itu satu per satu gue "mimpiin" meninggal, and it comes true.

1. my daddy
okay, bokap gue udah ngga ada. udah mau tahun ke-4 tanggal 15 januari nanti. but I still wish I could turn back time. come on readers. di hari terakhir bokap kalian, ga mungkin kalian berharap cuma punya percakapan kecil soal "ladder" yang bener-bener ga penting. I wish I could tell him everything. every secret that I have. dad, miss you badly.

2. my mom
I ever had a dream about this. dimimpi gue, yang meninggal adalah nyokap. bukan bokap gue. you know? things going to be complicated. bokap gue kayak orang pusing dimimpi itu. and me? I act just like a kid. if I know the last day of my mom, I will do something that she likes. sing this "Song For Mama" by Boyz II Men, hold her tight, tell her secrets, tell her about my life. and tell her how much I love her.

3. my sister
ini juga dah pernah gue mimpiin. dan gue sedih. nangis sejadi-jadinya. come on, she's the only sister that I have. she knew everything. every little thing about me. yang mungkin, semuanya masih disimpen sama dia. she's my cheerier, she's my best friend, she's my only one. if she leaves me first, I think I could die. seriously.

4. my friend
angga. dia temen sekelas gue yang pernah gue mimpiin meninggal. panik. nangis-nangis pas bangun. teman adalah harta terbaik yang kalian punya, readers. gue rasa wajar kalo kalian nangis. kalo gue tau hari ini hari terakhir temen-temen gue, gue bakal having fun sama mereka. do anything they want. go wherever they want. and I want to hug them even though I know they're gonna hate it. ;')

5. orang-orang terdekat
gue ngga bisa mendefinisikan "orang-orang terdekat" itu seperti apa. I mean, selain keluarga. kayak Micky. you know Micky? yes. I take him as my brother. kak Vina Justicia. she's the other. Anna sama Zesy. gue rasa readers dah pernah baca soal mereka di postingan-postingan sebelum ini. mereka juga termasuk dalam orang-orang yang megang rahasia gue. dan, kalo hari ini hari terakhir mereka, gue rasa gue harus menjalankan kewajiban gue dulu. then I'll take them to have fun.

6. him
gue ngga mau muna, readers. dia masih masuk hitungan. I'll fly to his town and do the rest. :D
I don't care if he'll be mad. at least, on his last day on earth, I've done what I need to do. or second choice, if he don't want to see me, I'll stay here. haha. bukannya apa-apa readers. tapi last day on earth, gue pasti akan mengabulkan semua permintaannya. jangan bilang artinya gue ga sayang. beuh. justru karena gue sayang makanya gue bakal biarin dia sendiri kalo itu mau dia.

yah..
pada akhirnya, semua yang di atas adalah hal-hal yang akan gue lakukan kalo gue tau hari itu adalah hari terakhir mereka.
hari terakhir orang-orang yang gue kasihi.
at least, gue berharap, gue aja yang duluan. gue aja yang duluan pergi. biar gue ga bisa ngeliat mereka semua pergi duluan..

03.18
dah pagi..
gue masih ga bisa tidur, readers.

pesan dari gue,
betapa biasa pun hari ini, tetep selalu kasih tau orang yang kalian sayang, kalo kalian sayang sama mereka, readers. sebelum semuanya terlambat.

and, as always,
I love you, readers. whoever you are. even you're drugging, you're smoking, you had tattoes, you addict to sex, you're nerd, you're crazy, you're hate me, you're love me, you think I'm crazy, you think I'm nerd, you think I'm not worth it, you think I'm illogical, I still LOVE you. :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

the most honest honesty

Laporan Pendahuluan Dreamweaver 191110

Soal:
  1. Apa yang dimaksud dengan form dan jelaskan cara membuatnya!
  2. Apa yang dimaksud dengan frame dan jelaskan cara membuatnya!

Jawaban:
  1. Elemen form berfungsi untuk tempat pemasukan/peng-inputan data, pemrosesan dan penyimpanan data. Cara menggunakannya: Pilih Insert Bar, kemudian pilih Form. :)
  2. Frame adalah pembagi jendela browser anda menjadi beberapa bagian dan ditampilkan dalam satu jendela browser. Cara menggunakannya: Klik menu Insert dan arahkan pointer ke Frames, maka akan muncul kotak dialog seperti pada gambar di bawah ini. Pada menu Frames akan terlihat menu-menu lagi. Kita bisa memilih jenis Frame yang ingin kita buat. :)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Laporan Akhir Dreamweaver buat Tanggal 191110

LA kali ini, kita bakal bikin 1 situs yang nantinya akan di link ke page lain.
di page lain itu, salah satunya harus ada tabel..
ini contoh dari gue.
:)



ini coding buat gambar di atas.. :)








ini coding buat gambar di atas.. :)







ini coding buat gambar di atas.. :)


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Laporan Pendahuluan Dreamweaver

Soal:
  1. Jelaskan fungsi draw-layer pada dreamweaver!
  2. Jelaskan pengertian table dan cara menggunakan table pada dreamweaver!
  3. Jelaskan pengertian dari hyperlink dan cara penggunaannya!

Jawaban:
  1. Draw Layer digunakan untuk menggambar kotak yang bisa diisi teks, gambar, atau apa saja, dan bisa ditempatkan dimana saja di layar.
  2. Tabel adalah informasi dalam bentuk matriks. Cara membuat tabel, klik tool "Insert Table" hingga muncul jendela yang menanyakan jika anda ingin memasukkan informasi dan membuat tabel. Ketika itu selesai, klik pada “OK” dan akan muncul tabel dalam halaman web.
  3. Hyperlink adalah gambar atau bagian teks yang ketika diklik oleh pengguna membuka halaman web lain atau melompat browser bagian yang berbeda dari halaman saat ini. Cara penggunaannya, klik tool Hyperlink yang terletak di atas (Insert Bar) dan akan membuat anda untuk link ke lokasi lain dari halaman web, file atau lokasi pada halaman yang sama.

Monday, November 8, 2010

my first storyboard


yeah..
itu di atas storyboard pertama gue..
:)

setelah gue upload di facebook, ada yang nge-like.
ada yang komen..
ada yang via YM langsung mujinya..
:)
makasih..

at least, gue ga akan pernah tau kalo gue punya bakat jadi seorang komiker.
:p
becanda deng.
thanks to Micky Kawulur for giving me the link. yang entah dikasih ke gue dari kapan
dan sempat terlupakan. :)
kalo bukan karena dia, gue ga bisa nyelesein ini tugas..
thanks to go animate, buat koleksi gambar-gambarnya.
thanks to dosen IMK yang udah ngasih tugas kayak gini..

thanks to Lord Jesus for protecting me. :)

makasih buat semuanya.

:))
lebay yah?
ga juga ah.
gue seneng readers, soalnya ini bener-bener pengalaman pertama buat gue. dan syukurlah, ngga mengecewakan.

11.02
dah yaa
gue mau off dulu..
mau tidurr
:)

wish me luck.
and as always: LOVE YOU. :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Laporan Akhir Dreamweaver

ini codingnya:


ini hasilnya:


silakan utak atik sendiri sesuka kalian. :)
klik gambar untuk memperbesar yah. :)

buat yang ngga punya dreamweaver dan pengen download, coba ke sini aja. :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Today's Latest Photo

hihi.
niat banget dah gue.
tapi emang lagi pengen ngepost sih. :)
jadi yah aktivitas gue hari ini, cuma ke kampus dari siang
trus ke detos sampe sore.
berenam sama rafly, angga, rahma, putri, dan anna.
:)

gue share poto2 tadi siang aja deh
maaf rada-rada bandwith killer. :p



Foto-Foto! :)



rafly, angga, gue, rahma, putri - nunggu ujan berhenti di depan toko laptop


rahma, gue, putri ~ nungguin ujan berhenti. :)


rafly, rahma, putri, anna, angga ~ detos, otw food court atas


rafly, rahma, putri ~ otw food court


angga sama anna. :)


rafly sama rahma :)

segitulah kira-kira koleksi poto hari ini. :)
banyak hal yang tadi udah kita ber-6 perbincangkan.

~

01.58
I'm glad I have them. :)
senang rasanya bersama mereka hari ini.
love them
:*

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

November Sunshine

3rd day of November. :)
apa aja yang udah kalian lewatin readers?
gue pribadi ga ngelewatin banyak momen di 2 hari kemaren..
ga tau deh hari ini. :p

so, what's up?
November Sunshine judul yang gue pilih karena udah capek juga dari November tahun kemaren Rain mulu. :))=)) kidding. pengen suasana yang beda aja. ^^

tar ada kuliah setengah 8.
sekarang udah jam 3 dan gue masih ga bisa tidur.. :'(
parah dah..
udah akut kayaknya. :((

~

akhir bulan oktober kemaren pait banget.
gue brantem (adu mulut doang sih) sama aktifis regional depok kaskus id-ed chipax.

tadinya emang adem ayem sampe gue denger kabar kalo dia bilang kecewa sama gue tapi ga di depan gue..
jadilah gue sindir di group facebook dan dia ngomentarin post gue. :)
dari ketikkan dia, gue bisa baca kalo dia emang lagi emosi. jadi gue berusaha untuk ga emosi dan malah ketawa-ketawa yang tentunya malah bikin dia lebih emosi :hammer:

akhirnya janjian ketemu hari senin malam jam setengah 8, diikuti dengan ngaretnya gue karena kebablasan tidur dan baru nongol jam setengah 9 di tkp. -.-"
makan dulu, trus ngobrol di tangga depan depok town square karena dia mao ngerokok.

bener-bener emosi rupanya dia readers. :))=)) tapi pas gue denger dia ngoceh, gue nyadar.
ini forum bukan cuma forum. dia ngajarin gue: "lo tuan rumahnya, gue tamunya, masa gue dateng lo pergi?"
bener juga sih gue pikir-pikir. sebagai seorang thread starter, gue bertanggung jawab akan jalannya acara dari awal sampe akhir.
dari ngumpulin orang sampe acara selesai.
kalo emang ada pengalaman pait, there's always a first time. ;)

damai readers. gue juga bukan tipe orang yang suka marahan lama-lama. apalagi ditambah ini udah diomongin bae-bae, jadi yaudah.. :)
pertemanan kembali seperti semula, gue ga ngambek dan yang paling penting, gue ngerti kenapa gue harus bertanggung jawab sama hal yang udah gue mulai.

~

nyokap gue mao ke bali, readers. :) beliau kemaren minta pesenin tiket untuk tanggal 4 november.
mungkin tanggal 6 mau ke sini. tapi kurang tau juga sih.
:)

~

belakangan, gue kena homesick. pengen pulang. sampe ga betah di kampus. ga betah di kosan. pokoknya maunya pulaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang ajah. -.-"
freak.
tapi daripada gue boong.
mendingan gue akuin kan?
:(

~

next, I miss him. Mr. 7 years.
gue pengen kasih tau orangnya langsung, takut dibilang aneh-aneh. -.-"
pengen SMS, dah kemaleman nyadarnya kalo gue kangen =))=))

jadilah, gue cuma curhat di sini. :D
toh dia kayaknya ga mungkin baca.. :)
lagian, gue rasa dia ngerti lah kalo gue kangen begini yah wajar. namanya udah cukup sering gue cerita semua masalah gue ke dia.

he's on his holiday, readers. jadi yah, gue nyadar diri dan ga mau ganggu juga. ^^

~

this is a boy. :))
balik lagi ye? ga kok. ini cuma cerita temen. :)

kenal dari awal conference chat sama abang gue tersayang Micky, trus gue add aja itu orang yang di conference 1/1..
dan, ini orang ada di list.
gue ga tau mau nyebut nama ato ngga. tapi kayaknya ga usah dulu..

nah, ini orang belakangan ngeledekin gue sama temn SMP gue. -.-"
padahal udah jelas ga ada hubungan apa-apa. -.-"

=))
nah, barusan, dia ngasih link..
link khotbah..
bagus banget.
:)
sampe gue bookmark biar tiap malem bisa gue dengerin..

nah, tadi gue dengerin khotbah yang judulnya "Menjadi Orang Berharga".
kenapa judul yang ini? karena sometimes, di lowest point hidup gue, gue ngerasa down dan gue mikir, I'm nothing.
mikir kayaknya gue ga ada tujuannya dilahirin ke dunia ini. -.-"
bener-bener pikiran yang kekanak-kanakan. :)

touchy abis.. :)
gue dengerin dari awal sampe akhir dan gue ngerasa "phew"
lega.
:)

okay, selain itu ada kata-kata dari dia yang bikin gue nyadar:
"torang ini biji mata-Nya, torang pe tubuh ini riki Dia anggap Bait-Nya Dia... berarti torang sangat spesial toh :)"
which is means:
"kita ini biji mataNya, tubuh kita sampe dianggap baitNya Dia.. berarti kita sangat special kan :)"

langsung dah itu kata-kata gue jadiin motto: "I'm the apple of His eyes" ^^
keren..
thanks to him for giving me this link..
:)

~

03.37
it's time for me to sleep readers. :)
have a great night you all.

and as always: love you. :-*

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Letter To Dad

Earth,
October, 28th, 2010

Dear Papa,
Hi pap. kakak kangen. :)
banget.
sebanget-bangetnya.

imagining what if you're here now. what if you're still teach me everything. what if you're watching me grow. what if I still can hear your laugh. what if I have one more year to spend with you. :)

I miss you a lot! even more than I can say or write. :)

no no. you're not dead. never. you're always here in my heart. it's just I hope I can touch you. :)
see you smile.

4 years ago, you already had billions of gray hair. so I thought, if you're real now, all of the black hair left, must be already turned into gray. :)

haha!

kidding dad. you're never old. ;)

I have some trouble with this step brother. :@
he didn't treat mom right. :@
it makes me mad. you know why? because he did it all when me and sister weren't there.
but it's alright. I'm positioned my self into you and see that you'll never hate anyone. :)

-sigh-

troubles chasing me out for these years. I lost 20 kilograms dad. you have to see me ;) aha! your big black fat girl turns into something you won't recognize. :))=))
haha. kidding again! I know you never think that way about me.
am I make you proud? I hope so. :) and. I start to cry. :D

okay. enough for the trouble. next: love life.
yep yep.
no no no.. I'm growing dad. you know I have to learn how to love someone even though, I did it for the last 7 years. :">
don't be that jealous. he won't and won't ever replacing your place in my heart. :"> but he's just that special. :D
he's my another Mr. Right. because my Mr. Always Right is you. ;;) haha. smile now!
:D
he's smart, dad. he's kind. he's caring. but it doesn't mean he loves me. ;) don't be mad. maybe he just choose someone better. :p
haha. trust me, there are girls out there better than me. you have to face it dad. :*

maybe he's the one whom I have to tell you about. ngga adil rasanya kalo selama 3 tahun terakhir waktu kk sama papa, kk ngga pernah ngasih tau soal dia. :)
now you know about my first love. :) the second one? wait. I have to make sure this one is the second one and I'll tell you.

okay dad. I'm sleepy.
say my word to the angels. :)
hope they're treat you right. :)
miss you daddy :-*

ps: I love you

your daughter who loves you,
fissheal.

2nd ps: thanks for this name.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Coding Menu pada Prolog

klik gambar untuk memperbesar yah. :)
sukses buat ujian besok.



hasilnya ada di bawah sini. :)
klik spoilernya..



HASIL:











Friday, October 15, 2010

Laporan Pendahuluan Prolog 221010

1. Apa yang kamu ketahui tentang menu pada prolog?

Menu pada prolog adalah sekumpulan coding yang diketikkan dan membentuk sebuah menu dengan lebih dari 1 pilihan.

2. Apa yang dimaksud dengan nl?

Predikat nl/0 (tanpa argumen) berfungsi sama dengan tombol enter, yaitu untuk membuat baris baru (new line).

3. Buat contoh program sederhana menggunakan prolog!

menu:-nl,
write(‘menu’),nl,
write(’1.Luas Segitiga’),nl,
write(’2.Pangkat’),nl,
write(’3.Exit’),nl,
write(‘Masukkan Pilihan Anda[1..3] : ‘),read(Q),

(

Q=1,nl,
write(‘luas Segitiga’),nl,
write(‘alas:’),
read(Alas),
write(‘input tinggi:’),read(Tinggi),
Luas is Alas * Tinggi/2,
write(‘Luasnya : ‘),write(Luas),
menu;

Q=2,
write(‘masukkan nilai A:’),
read(A),nl,
write(‘masukkan nilai B:’),
read(B),nl,
C is A ** B,
write(‘Hasil dari A pangkat B adalah ‘),write(C),
menu;

Q=3,
write(‘_exit_’),nl).

Laporan Akhir Prolog buat Tanggal 221010



















klik gambar untuk memperbesar.
selamat mengerjakan. :)
love you. :-*

Thursday, October 14, 2010

phew

nice title huh? :p

yap itu menunjukkan kelegaan gue setelah beberapa hari ini ditiban sama banyak banget masalah..

1. gue udah BENERAN baikan sama yang namanya Z. :))=))
udah liat postingan sebelum ini kan? nah, itu dia si Z.
akhirnya baikan beneran. :))=))
seneng banget rasanya. meskipun gue sempet suka, akhirnya gue ilfil gara-gara dia dah punya cewek. :))=))
untung deh #:-S
kalo ngga, bisa lama gue naksir die. :))=))

yang gue sebel sih, dia bilang gue ga boleh pinjem-pinjem dia lagi karena dia udah ada kesepakatan sama pacarnya. tapi ga papa. temen gue seneng, gue ikutan seneng. :))=))
ps: asal pacarnya masih lawan jenis aja. :p

2. gue ga jadi out dari regional.
yep yep. :D
setelah kemaren gue dilema. harus keluar dari RD biar si Z masuk lagi. ato gue tetep di RD dengan resiko ga bakal ngobrol sama si Z lagi.
tapi dengan chatnya tadi, gue bener-bener seneng dan lega dia ga jadi keluar dari RD. :)

intinya, itu udah lebih dari cukup. :)
temen gue balik. temen gue punya pacar. keluarga gue di depok sehat lagi. :D

****

next, gw abis dapet mimpi tadi siang.
set dah, readers. itu mimpi nyata banget.
beneran deh. nyata banget.
:(

gue bingung antara mau seneng ato mau sedih..
ini soal Mr. 7 Years.

jadi, gue mimpi, gue curhat soal si Z ke dia. dan dia malah ngajak gue ke bandung -.-"
entah apa hubungannya.
di bandung, gue diajak ngejenguk kakaknya dia yang lagi sakit tifus.
bukannya nyumpahin readers. tapi emang mimpinya begitu..
gw inget kok..
sigh.

daaaaan..
gue dikenalin sama nyokap bokapnya.
wew.
bener-bener nyata itu mimpi..

and in my dream, he holds my hand.
come on.
gue pengen bersikap realistis.
karena gue juga udah ngga ngarepin. tapi ini mimpi bener-bener nguji iman deh.
gue sampe ga mau bangun :))=))

yah at least, mudah-mudahan gue masih kuat buat ngelupain dia. :)
[-O<

****

11.26
lagunya Nelly yang Just A Dream mudah2an mampu bikin gue sadar. doain yah readers.. :)
sometimes gue emang suka kangen.
cuma gue ga berani ngomong.
dan gue juga ga bakal ngomong.
-sigh-

at least. have a nice dream readers.
love you!
kiss.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

hey readers. boring huh?
:D/
miss you a lot.

where am I supposed to start?

hmm

gue lagi addict sama lagunya Nelly yang Just A Dream.. :)
entah kenapa ini lagu bikin gue nangis.
belom lagi liriknya, video clip-nya.
touchy abis..
kok bisa ya orang-orang kayak Nelly, Akon, dll bikin lagu yang bisa bikin cewek sampe mewek?

-

next story come from me and my friend. :)
he's a guy. nice guy actually. :)
he told me his love story in case, he thought I could helped him.
:)

kemaren, kita brantem.
masalah sepele. dia ngga mau gw comblangin sama si X.
:-<
actually, that's not the problem.

Z (10/10/2010 18:02:33): :)
me (10/10/2010 18:02:43): jangan senyum2 lo sm gw
Z (10/10/2010 18:03:08): weh galak amat ;))
me (10/10/2010 18:04:18): gw baek jg slh kan? :p
Z (10/10/2010 18:04:37): oh gtu..
Z (10/10/2010 18:04:41): ga jd ngkut gw...
Z (10/10/2010 18:04:42): thx...
that's the main problem between me and him.

padahal gue juga ngomongnya bercanda readers.
sama sekali ga ada keinginan buat nyinggung/nyindir dia.
cuma apa boleh buat, kemaren dia terlanjur marah..

at least, tadi kita udah baikkan. :)
yah gw seneng temen gw balik lagi. :)
seengganya ada temen buat diajak becandaan lg ;))

-

next, come from someone. :p
wkwkwkw.
:))=))
gw udah cerita belom sih?
gw nembak ini orang kemaren..
trus ditolak dengan 1 alasan: "... karena gw masih milik bersama :p"

nah, kemaren gw confirm lg ke dia apa maksud jawabannya.
and...
it's clear. :))=))
I give up. :D

-

hmm, apalagi yah?
oia, hari ini ade gw tersayang ulang tahun ke 17..
happy birthday, sist..
:)
may God bless you and be with you in every second of your life. love. kiss.

hadiah buat dia udah gw siapin dari tanggal 25 september kemaren. :))=))
jadi ga usah khawatir kalo ultah ke 17 lo bakal tanpa hadiah, sist. :)

-

hmm..
apalagi ya?
di YM suka ada yg nanya: "next target siapa, fie?"

untuk sekarang, belom ada target-targetan.
suka ya suka aja. gue belom sampe nyatain lagi.
meskipun kadang, males juga rasanya nunggu.
I'm not such of a patience person. :p

-

kemaren ada karokean ber-6 sama anak-anak regional depok.
me, kucingpitak, chipax, aloneat, faandiimas, dan doelsaja.
seru.
lucu.
menyenangkan. :)

at least they light up my life pas waktu itu lg brantem. :))=))

-

4.20 am
good morning readers. have a great day today. :-*
kisses and hugs.
justlikefie. :)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Friday, October 1, 2010

Wake Up! It's October! :)

hei readers.. :)
miss you so much you know?
there's a lot of stories I want to tell you.
it's almost a month since my last post.

-

hmm...
mulai darimana yah???

-

okay. first of all, gue mau cerita soal hp gue ilang. hiks hiks. :'(
ilangnya kemaren readers. di detos.
gue lupa gimana kronologisnya.
tapi tiba-tiba, pas gue mau nyari si merah, udah ngga ada :((

sedih banget rasanya.
bukan karena handphonenya.
tapi karena isinya.
kan di situ ada foto-foto gue sama kunyuk. :((
ada contact list orang-orang yang cuma sekali seumur hidup gue temuin
ada video-video unforgettable moment..
ada SMS-SMS yang cuma dikirim sekali seumur hidup
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((
sedih banget kayaknya..
cuma gpplah..
gue udah ikhlas kok. :)

-

oia, readers, ini cerita ngga bakal berurutan yah. abis gue bingung yang mana duluan. --"

-

sampe situlah gue ngetik postingan ini dan gue tinggalin. :))=))
jadi aturan, ini post gue post dari kemaren, sayangnya gue ngga punya waktu buat ngelanjutin ngetik..

-

lanjut.
wkwkwkw..
hmm.. apalagi yah cerita yang ngga sempet gue post?

-

oia, gue dapet temen baru. :))=))
ga baru baru amat sih. cuma emang temenan beneran temenan tuh baru belakangan ini. :))=))
his name is yoga. :p

wkwkwkw..
deketnya gara-gara kaskus lagi! :))=))
jadi die sempet H2H sama gue. ;))
isi H2Hnya, gue keep aja yah. kasian ybs kalo sampe gue sebar. :))=))
lagian bisa ngamuk-ngamuk itu bocah. :))=))

nah dari situ, dia sempet bilang ke gue: "gw kan kalo lagi bosen suka jalan sendirian tante fie" <-- gue dipanggil tante. --"
daaaaaaaaaan, sejak itu, kalo gue pengen jalan, gue ajak aja nih bocah. :))=))
daaaaaaaan lagiiiiiii, sejak sering jalan, gue jadi dapet temen baru :mahos. :))=))

wkwkwkwk..
jangan dipikir dia bocah beneran lho readers --"
umurnya beda 8 tahun di atas gue. :))=))
tapi tetep aja gue yang bawel. :))=))

diskusi sama dia enak.
mulai dari soal masak, soal komputer, soal makanan, lengkap dah. :))=))
charger lapie gue? siapa lagi yang ngebantuin dapetin kalo bukan dia :x
kalo kata gue ke dia: "lo emang the best, ga". :))=))

hmm..
apalagi ya? kayaknya segitu aja deh soal yoga. emang ngga ada lagi soalnya. :))=))
idupnya datar soalnya :))=))
:p
:Peace:

-

okay.. praktikum is back! B-)
it means, blog ini akan mulai dipenuhi dengan berbagai postingan dengan tema "komputer"
:))=))
jadi, kalo readers berencana membaca postingan-potingan curhat gw ;)), maka dengan berat hati, di tengah-tengahnya bakal gue selipin postingan-postingan tugas. ;))
maklumlah, saya senang membagi ilmu. :mahos

-

what else?
oia, I'm in love with JAVA :x:x:x
sumpah ya ini program amazzing banget. :)
eits. gue ga saltik lho. maksud gue emang bener amazzing :))=))
thanks juga buat pak donny erlangga yang bikin ini program jadi jauh lebih mudah dengan penjelasan secara langsungnya..
meskipun awalnya gue sempet mikir, ini akan menjadi sama dengan C++ :D

at least, I love the ending. :p
bener-bener cinta deh sama java. :p
cinta kedua gue setelah pascal lah ini. :)

-

19.32
besok ada praktikum pagi. :(
capek sebenernya, readers. tapi harus dijalani dengan semangat. :)
ya kan? ;;)

at least, welcome october!
have a greath month everyone!
love you.
kiss.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Happy Birthday!

hai readers..
miss you alot!
gue ga bisa posting panjang-panjang nih. maklum, pake handphone.
banyak banget yang pengen gue ceritain..
tapi tar aja deh yaa..
;;)

postingan kali ini, gue dedikasiin buat yang lagi ulang tahun hari ini. ;)
mo dibaca kek, mo ngga kek, yang penting udah gue post.
:))=))

best wishes deh buat lo.. :)
hadiah gue doa aja ya?
mudah-mudahan lo:
-makin sabar ngadepin sesuatu
-makin pinter dalam segala hal
-jujur boleh, cuma kadang-kadang pertimbangkan dulu apa yang pengen lo sampein.
-sukses dalam segala hal.
-bisa ngeraih semua mimpi lo.
-cepet sidang.
-makin sayang orang tua dan kakak lo.
-makin bertumbuh dalam Tuhan.
:)

20.55
lumayan nih ngetik segini pake hp..
buat readers yang pas baca ini (bukan pas tanggal ini ya) lagi ulang tahun, wishes yang sama juga, aku ucapin buat readers..
anyway, goodnight..
have a nice sleep!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I am blessed. ;)

yippie. :)
happy Sunday anyone!
beautiful Sunday isn't it? :p

hahahah.
okeoke.seperti biasa, tiap hari minggu umat nasrani ke gereja semua. :) tak terkecuali gue. :)hari ini gereja kembali bareng sama ade gue. ^^khotbah hari ini ngajarin gue buat tetep tinggal dalem Dia. :) nice one Pasteur John. :)

oia, berhubung pembacaan alkitabnya bilang: "jikalau kamu tinggal di dalam AKU dan firmanKU di dalam kamu, mintalah apa saja yang kamu kehendaki", maka tadi gue minta banyak banget sama Tuhan. :psemua ada di pokok doa gue. :)setelah kemarin sempet ngedrop dan bikin gue ngerasa bersalah sama diri sendiri dan sama Tuhan, tadi gue minta maaf abis-abisan. sampe berkali-kali bisikin kata-kata "I don't deserve You."tapi gue inget lagi khotbah 2 minggu lalu yang bilang: "Tuhan kita adalah Tuhan yang amnesia. dia lupa sama semua kesalahan kita saat kita minta maaf" dan gue aminin itu. :)

gue harap semua doa gue dijawab dan dikabulkan sama Tuhan. *amin!

*****
pulang gereja, gue sama adek gue udah kesorean. :))kita naek kereta ekonomi karena ekonomi ac datengnya jam 15.45
dan ternyata, ekonomi landingnya juga 15.30 :))=))beda tipis yah?
tapi gpp lah..
ga penuh ini. :D

next, gue sama adek gue ke detos. emang udah planning buat beli handphone baru buat gue. :))
bayangin aja readers, kapan sih gue ngepost pengen beli handphone? dan baru kebeli sekarang :))=))
pilihan gue jatuh ke Sony Ericsson Elm Greenheart. :)
kenapa? karena kameranya wonderful. :Dmengingat gue belakangan ini lagi addict sama bikin cover, maka gue memutuskan memilih yang satu ini. :)
daaaaaannnnn... guess what?
gue dapet warna PINK!
:))=))warna yang paling gue benci malah gue dapet. :))=))
yaudah lah. sekalian belajar jadi wanita :">



this is my new mobile phone. :)
cute huh? :p


keren kan yah? :))=))
maap rada maksa. :">
*****
kemaren malem, gue buka puasa sama temen-temen gunadarma 2KA02 2009. :)
ga rame sih.
dari 50 orang cuma 10an kali yang dateng..
cukup lumayan untuk ngelepas kangen setelah 2 bulan ga ketemu.
ada yang kurusan, ada yang gemukan..
tapi kebanyakan pada kurus karena bulan puasa. :))=))
gue sendiri dibilang kurusan. :))=))
ya iyalah. turunnya 7 kg kok ga kurus? :))=))
kemaren sempet turun 12kg readers. :)
angka gue nyampe 68 :">
cuma bablas makan lagi :))=))



ini semua yang hadir termasuk gw yang moto B-)


nah, abis dari situ, gue ke margo. sama anak-anak. berlima. niatnya sih mau ngeliat tato buat temen gue yang namanya abe. sekalian ketemu sama temen gue juga yang namanya yoshi. :)

giliran dah nyampe lantai 4, ternyata si yoshi ada di The Old House depan margo. --"
jadilah kita turun lagi dan ke The Old House..
cuma ngeliatin doang sih dari atas. abisnya rame juga, jadi males mau turun ke bawah.. :D

di situ, temen gue yang namanya Rahma izin pamit karena dah dijemput sama sodaranya. :)

kiri ke kanan: rahma, arief, rafly, abe :)

jadi, gue, Arief, Abe, Rafly, balik lagi ke margo buat bikin tato "muay thai" nya Abe. :))=))

kocak kocak. gue sama Arief sempet curhat-curhatan. tapi isi curhatnya gue rahasiain. :p kasian dia dan kasian gue. :))=))

pulang dari tato mentato, Abe dah kayak maho. ;p tangannya sangat dijaga dari sentuhan benda2 asing. :))=))
dah gitu, kita mampir ke The Old House lagi. kali ini buat turun ke bawah, nemuin Yoshi karena dah dipesenin tempat.
ckckck..
rame bener dah. :))=))
mana sempet disuruh nyanyi lagu Keith Martin yang Because Of You lagi. :))=))

at least, that's a wonderful night.

OH YEAH. dan gue ga bakal lupa semalem Arief pura-pura ngejambret gue. itu asli GUE KAGET. sampe ga bisa ngomong. --"

*****

20.13
besok ada planning ke Ancol sama anak2 kaskus regional manado.
mudah-mudahan dennis bisa ikut biar gue ga sendiri [-O<
lagian kangen gue sama tu anak. :))=))

yauds yah readers. :)
ga ada cerita cinta di postingan gue kali ini. :)
anyway, have a great night. :)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

let's start a new life ;)

I'm back. :D
miss me enough? :p

woah. there's lot of story I want to tell you. cuma bingung mau mulai darimana. --"
tar gue cek post terakhir dulu
hmm..
tanggal 27..

okeoke.
inget gue mau mulai dari mana. :)

sehari setelah postingan terakhir gue, tibalah acara baksos kaskuser regional depok. gue udah mikir ga bisa dateng, akhirnya dateng juga dengan nebeng si faisal.
hahahaha.
kasian banget gue ngerepotin anak orang dah. maaf ya sal. gue ga maksud.
acaranya lumayan seru. masalahnya adalah, anginnya kenceng banget. gue aja sampe make jaket motor. --"

gue ketemu sama banyak orang yang sebelumnya udah pernah gue temuin. dan beberapa orang baru --khususnya wanita-wanita-- yang baru hari itu ketemu sama gue.
yah seengganya kita udah pada tuker-tukeran facebook. jadi mereka taulah yang mana gue.
dan yap, seperti biasa, gue selalu menjadi yang terbesar. B-)

yang paling menyebalkan adalah ketemu mantan. dan anak-anak semuanya ngeledekin. :|
honesty, dia bukan orang yang gue pengen temuin sepanjang sisa hidup gue.
tapi gue rasa, ini karma deh. :|

yaudahlah. lewatin aja. :)

*****

next day tanggal 29 agustus, gue sama ade gue ke cikini. buat gereja. kita milih yang jam setengah 11 dan cao dari st. pd. cina jam 10. :)
nah, pulang dari situ, gue sama adek gue langsung balik ke depok.
tapi pas lagi di st. pasar minggu, gue di SMS temen gue ngajak ketemu di tebet.
jadilah setelah gue ganti baju, gue cao lagi ke tebet.
-_____________-"

*****

intermezzo: gue pengen banget ganti domain sumpah. :|

*****

next. hari seninnya, gue sama ade gue langsung cao ke tangerang sama oma gue. untuk survey tempat dia kuliah dan blah blah blah.
tau ga sih, readers? begitu menginjakkan kaki di sana, kita langsung disambut para penjaja kosan. :))=))
kayak mami mami pula dandanannya. --"
tapi finally, adek gue dapet kosan yang layaknya kosan. :)
nicelah. :)

*****

hmm.. apalagi yah?
tanggal 31, gue lowong.. tanggal 1 juga..
hari ini deh.
tanggal 2.
ultahnya MICKY KAWULUR.
he's my best brother ever.
ahahaha
dia satu-satunya orang yang bisa bikin gue ngakak bahkan di saat dia lagi serius. :))=))
I love him so much. :)
best wishes buat dia. mudah-mudahan cepet nikah, sukses terus di usia yang ke 27 ini. :)

*****

kemaren sempet ada masalah sama temen gue, salah paham sih sebenernya. tapi udah selesai. :)
orang yang gue taksir 7 tahun? ahahaha. postingan -fin- kemaren udah dibaca kan?
abis dari situ, kita udah baikkan lagi. :)
dan setelah saya menemukan sebuah fakta yang baru gue sadarin selama 7 tahun terakhir, gue memutuskan untuk menyerah. :))=))
masalahnya adalah, I don't deserve him. not now, not forever. :D
jadi beginilah. membuka tahapan baru.

*****

si kunyuk masih bersikeras pengen ketemu gue.
pengen nembak
dia suka ngasih message2 dengan isi pesan "love you", "kiss", "te amo"
tapi entah kenapa, gue ga demen aja. :|
bukannya gue ga bisa maafin dia.
cuma gini yah, gue kapok. :)
kapok ditinggal terus.
baru temen aja dia dah kayak gitu
ingkar janji terus.
kalo emang ga bisa, jangan buat janji. gitu lho maksud gue.
so, untuk sekarang, saya single. :D

*****

11.58
dah setaun gue ga mudik. :p
kangen sama kampung.
kangen makam bokap.
kangen spot gue.
kangen rumah
kangen sofa
kangen semuanya!
omaigat
gue kenapa jadi homesick gini yah? --"

anyway, udah tanggal 3 sekarang. :)
it means, dah mau weekend. dah mau lebaran
gue cuma mau bilang, maaf atas semua kesalahan gue
baik yang gue sengaja atopun tidak. :)

love you all readers.
night. *kiss*

Friday, August 27, 2010

I love you. but not in love with you.

pagi readers. nyampah lagi ya?
cerah banget di luar. matahari kayaknya lagi bersahabat sama bumi.
anyway, apa kabar?
setelah kemaren sempet ngepost postingan paling ga penting sejagad, here I am. :)

mulai darimana yah mo cerita???oke. ehm..
abis gue ngepost 2 postingan sebelum ini, gue dikejutkan dengan kabar luar biasa: temen gue mo nikah.
wedew. gue sih turut seneng. sempet kaget pas pertama kali dia ngomong begitu. gue bilang "JANGAN BECANDA" dengan huruf di caps lock semua. :))=))
dan readers, he's not kidding.
karena gue sama dia udah deket, bokapnya sama bokap gue temenan, anaknya juga kocak banget. maka, gue to the point nanyanya: "jangan bilang lo nikah karena cewek lo hamil".
abis gue chat begini, dia langsung diem. dan gue juga ga bisa ngetik lagi saking kagetnya. :|

mungkin kayak gini pembicaraan gue sama temen gue itu.
gue: "jangan bilang lo nikah karena cewek lo hamil"dia: (diem dulu)"yah emang faktanya begitu"
gue: "hah?! haduuuh. kok bisa? makanya belajar tahan nafsu"
dia: "ahahahaha. kata orang enak sih makanya gue nyobain"
gue: ...
dia: "itu cuma perkara terlambat dikeluarin"
gue: "-_____- jangan bilan lo pernah nyoba ngegugurin"
dia: "pernah. sampe sakit perut cewek gue."
gue: "udah! jangan nyoba lagi. nanti anak lo cacat"
dia: "gue ga siap, fie.. :( bentar lagi gue ayah"
gue: "lo harus siap. lo pasti bisa. gue percaya sama lo. bokap ngomong apa?"
dia: "gue belom ngasih tau."gue: "hah???!, kasih tau sekarang! gimana lo mo tanggung jawab kalo begitu?!"
dia: "iya iya. gue takut."
gue: "lo cowok, lo harus bisa bertanggung jawab"

dan begitulah, dia off. mungkin mo langsung ngasih tau orang tuanya.
abis dari chatting-chattingan, dia sempet nelpon. cerita. gue sedih aja readers. ga nyangka sama sekali kalo bisa kayak begitu.
gue pengen dia bertanggung jawab. ga keitung berapa kali dia bilang "gue takut" ke gue. terakhir gue tanya, dia baru ngadu ke nyokapnya. dan nyokapnya cuma ngomong: "berani berbuat, berani bertanggung jawab".
gue harap semuanya akan baik-baik aja. [-O<

*****

hey, my sister is here! ahahaha. dia kan dateng bareng oma gue yang udah setahunan lah ga ketemu. nah, pas oma gue ngeliat gue teriak dia: "haduuuuuhh. kamu cantik banget!" et dah. :))=)) akhirnya ada juga yg blg gue cantik ;)):">
maklum readers sejak terakhir oma itu ketemu gue sampe kemaren, gue dah turun 20kg. :">
wajarlah kalo reaksinya kayak gitu :)

*****

btw, gue pengen cerita soal si B. :p inget kan? dia ada di postingan yang judulnya cerita cerita
okay gini. banyak yang nanya, si B siapa, ngapain dia ke kosan, kenal di mana, blah blah blah. :p
ini ceritanya.
si B itu, awal kenalnya di FB. kembali karena kaskus. :))=))pertamanya, dia yang ngeadd gue. pas gue bongkar profilnya, ternyata di depok, makanya gue langsung tau ini anak pasti regional depok. :))=))
dia ngewall, trus gue bales di wall dia. abis itu komen komenan wall dan tukeran YM.
abis dari situ, gue sama dia lebih banyak ngobrol di YM.
chat archive-nya masih ada noh. :))=))
pas pertama kali ngeadd, mutual friend gue sama dia cuma 1. dan itu bukan anak kaskus.
tapi temen SMA gue di manado. gilaaaa. dunia beneran sempit. --"

lanjut lanjut. :D
ngobrol ngobrol di YM, ga tau apa dia ngerasa enak ngobrol sama gue, apa gimana, dan dia nembak gue.
waktu dia nembak via YM, gue iyain aja. karena satu, dia juga ga pernah ngeliat gue, sekalinya ngeliat, pasti males. kedua, gue nganggep dia bercanda. :)
abis itu, gue bilang "yaudah, ayo ganti status". tau apa jawabannya? "tar aja kalo dah nembak kamu di depan kamu".
gue ga kaget. :))=)) cuma langsung gue pakein emot rofl di YM. =))
abis yakin banget sih masih mau nembak gue pas ketemu gue.

dan, satu malam, dia nemuin gue. di kosan.
ga lama sih, orang dia buru-buru gara-gara temennya masuk RS.
yang penting dia dah ngeliat gue.
trus, begitu gue ketemu di YM lagi sama dia, gue tanyain, "dah ilfil kan?". and he said no.
ckckckck.. gue heran deh. apa sih? kalo dibilang baek, gue begitu sama semua orang. --"
kalo ditotal2, itu orang cuma main 3x ke kosan.
yang paling terakhir, dia mo nembak cuma ga bisa ngomong. :))=))
gue bilang, "yaudah, kalo emang ga bisa ngomong ya ga usah. :) itu berarti aku juga ga bakal ngejawab. :)".dan dia pulang. :)

FYI, gue sebelumnya udah ngelarang dia naksir gue *apasih?*
tapi serius lho. gue bilang ke dia "lo ga boleh naksir gue. apapun yang terjadi lo ga boleh naksir gue", tapi dianya maksa. bahkan sampe ketemu masih aja.
gue sayang sama dia, tapi sebagai temen. lebih enak ketawa-ketawa sama dia. :)
hubungan dia sama gue ga rusak. tetep temenan. tetep YMan kalo dia kebetulan lagi ol.
kadang-kadang kalo gue lagi mo jalan kemana, dia gue ajak. cuma dianya ga pernah mau. :))=))
orang yang aneh. :D
*****

udah ketemu sama gitar gue? ahahahaha. kemaren bikin video cover lagi gue. kalo mau liat, silakan ke sini


this is my guitar. her name is flattery.

gue lupa kapan belinya nih gitar.
tapi belom ada 3 bulan.
belom ada 2 bulan malah kayaknya.
ga inget persis. --"
that's why gue lagi addict bikin cover. :))
next project kayaknya natalie imbruglia yang torn deh. :D
cuma liat nanti ajalah.

*****

apalagi yah? planning hari ini sih mo ngecek handphone lagi ke sony ericsson.
tadinya dah mau beli E seriesnya nokia. cuma, gue addict sama kameranya soner. :))
liat tar ajalah gue mo beli apa.

*****

09.57
ade gue dah menunjukkan tanda2 mau bangun. :D
gue sendiri belakangan ini ga bisa bangun siang lagi. -______-"
sesiang-siangnya gue bangun, paling jam 8 pagi. --"
ga bisa lebih siang lagi. semalem apapun gue tidur.
ini badan mulai ngamuk2.
anyway, gue cao dulu readers. :)
love you all. :-*